Asymmetric

Superbowl 44 was quite pleasant. Not too many penalties or turnovers. A bold onside kick, which proved to be the momentum changer. Drew Brees gave a steady, Joe Montana-like performance.

The ads were sub-par. They weren't as funny as those in previous years. Megan Fox brought the sexiness factor to 0 all by herself after it plunged into negative territory with Betty White and dudes in their underwear.

She obviously wanted to disprove the ugly thumb rumors.

Instead of going through each one and rating them, as I did last year, I thought I'd just sit down and write about the ones I remember. I'd recall the best, worst, and most effective ones, right?

The Betty White ad was probably the worst, followed by the Super Bowl shuffle ad reprise, Kiss, and every Dorito commercial except the one with the bark collar:

Many other bad ones that left no impact.

The Tim Tebow ad successfully made NOW and Planned Parenthood look silly for opposing a very innocent ad that really said nothing. It merely invited people to learn more about pro-life issues at the Focus on the Family website. So, a big score for the forces of life.

As for social trends, the quiet (lest our wives hear) backlash against feminism was present, again. Remember last year when guys hurt themselves and said, "I'm good," and the Heineken beer closet commercials? Whereas last year's guy ads celebrated mens' goofiness; this year, men were urged to "wear the pants":

Even if this doesn't lead to real change in the dynamics of opposite-sex relationships, it's at least a recognition of a feeling that perhaps things aren't quite right.

Dodge, the dinosaur car company, celebrated the responsible male's life:

Dove, of all companies, released a paean to the good guy, bravo male:

There was another one, but I don't remember it.

The ad that has liberal control freaks up in arms is Audi Green Police. It taps into the growing sentiment that perhaps greeniness isn't motivated by a desire to address a real problem so much as by that old-fashioned drive to control human behavior, Liberal Fascism-style. This is the beginning of the end for the ideological environmental movement, my friends.

What's odd is that Audi mocks its customer base. Or, it isn't that Audi makes fun of extremist greens and them urges people to buy an 8-cylinder guzzler; they're selling a diesel car. Weird.

Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning by Jonah Goldberg

The Denny's chicken alert ad lacked social value, except for PETA, perhaps, but is the one that made me laugh the most.

For a more complete commentary, I like this one.

I heard the speech on the radio and was struck by how much more substantive it was than the Obama preacher-on-fire, cliche-ridden ones. Another thing I liked was the absense of cheap applause lines.

She hit just about everything cons have complained about the past year, the spending, secrecy, corruption. Emailing this speech to your friends would catch them up on current events quicker than reading a year of the Corner.

She showed what's likable about her, the earth-bound charm, and what was not, a Fargo-like accent that I can see grating on the urban. Overall, excellent.

In a general sense, I think the Tea Party should stop being a movement, quick. A movement based on opposition to something should cease existing as soon as it's reached its goal. Tea Partiers helped check Obama's socialist agenda. Good for them. Now, team up.

To continue as a semi-formal entity, one just cohesive enough to make specific demands and require political pandering, outside of a more established, realistic structure would only serve to divide the electorate and invite easy attacks by liberals. News outlets are already running "divided Tea Party" stories.

(The precedent is the Reform party. Libertarians have caused many Republican losses as well.)

It would be if Democrats had a visible far left called the "anti-war movement" or "net roots"...wait, they do and it's wreaked havoc on moderate Dems after Obama united (some would say "fooled") them briefly for his victory.

Warning: If you're a liberal, the video below may have the same effect garlic has on vampires.

LGZV (Lich, Ghoul, Zombie, Vampire) community leaders praised Obama's mention of the corpsed community. unSpokesman Keith Richards said that the acknowledgment was long past due, "some people don't even know we're alive...err...that we're here."

Richards also welcomed the decision to let the undead serve openly in the military, "The undead are amongst the best soldiers in the military today. Some of us won't stop attacking until our heads are blown off. We're essential in night ops. Vampires make great medics, under proper supervision. Werewolves only need a little special accommodation, and just one day a month." Richards went on to say that the next step is to modernize the chaplain corps, "We'd need some sound-proofed rooms. The howling gets a little intense at times."

...that "sometimes when you lose an arm, another sense takes over."

?

"This isn't the Democratic party of our fathers and grandfathers. This is the party of Woodstock hippies. I was at Woodstock — I built the stage. And when everything fell apart, and people were fighting for peanut-butter sandwiches, it was the National Guard who came in and saved the same people who were protesting them. So when Hillary Clinton a few years ago wanted to build a Woodstock memorial, I said it should be a statue of a National Guardsman feeding a crying hippie."-John Ratzenberger.

Yesterday, I assembled some Rock and Roll songs that trumpeted conservative values. Today, I'm doing my far left* brothers and sisters a favor by compiling a list to encourage them as they seek to change America for the better:

1. Sign of the Times, Donna Fargo.

Podcast

Donna Fargo Winners by Donna Fargo

The Best of Donna Fargo: 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection

In this song, Donna sings of the American dream turning into a "nightmare." 1863? 1933? 1942? No, the year we'd all like to forget, 1986. Apparently, Donna had access to some detailed census data, as she concluded that Jews suffered proportionately. Unemployment was at 50%?

2. Cortez the Killer, Neil Young.

Proving that extremism begs for an opposite, "noble savagery" is an attempt by Europeans to reverse European feelings of superiority over the people whose land they colonized. The problem with those who take the noble savage route, is that, in their desire to make amends, they often lie, distort, or, like Neil Young, just say stupid stuff.

The Cortez in the song is Hernan Cortez, Spanish conquistador. Why sing about Cortez and not, say, other conquests in history like in everywhere else in the world since the beginning of humanity? Because Cortez was white and the Aztecs weren't, I guess.

If you know anything about Aztec civilization, you know how ridiculous this is:

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.

Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.

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