Asymmetric

Asymmetric has managed to get a copy of the "Beer Summit" transcript:

Gates: What's up, O? Joe. Hey, do I smell bacon?
Obama: Yo, Chip! Mr. Crowley.
Crowley: Mr. President. Mr. Gates. Mr...
Biden: Vice President.
Obama: Hey, we're just chilling. I'm not Nancy Pelosi. You can call me "O." Let me get you a beer- it's Bud light. That's you, Joe.
Biden: Right.
Crowley: Thanks, O.
Obama: OK, what happened? Why you dissin' my boy, Crowley?
Crowley: I was respondi...
Gates: What happened was that I was in my house and he just comes up and snatches me.
Obama: Damn! What you got to say for yourself, Crowley?
Crowley: He was yelling at me.
Gates: Whoa, whoa, whoa. I was in my house.
Crowley: Yeah, and then you started yelling.
Gates: So, can't a brother yell? African-Americans had to learn to yell because Africa is loud. It's a black thing. If you wouldn't have brought us over as slaves, we'd be making noise in the motherland.
Biden: Here's the beer. You know, back in Scran...
Obama: Shut up, Joe. The man's talking.
Crowley: Well, not in public, at a cop.
Gates: You probably have an AA- am I right? an AA?
Crowley: Yes.
Gates: OK, an AA. I teach at Harvard.
Crowley: I didn't know that at the time. I just saw two guys breaking in.
Gates: You saw two BLACK guys, you meant.
Crowley: Look man, you yelled and pissed me off. .
Gates: Can I get another beer? This Bud thing is making me sick. What you got?
Biden: We have Sam Adams.
Gates: I ain't drinkin' no slave-owner beer. You got something by people of color, like Tecate?
Obama: Joe, hurry up, biatch.
Biden: Right away. You know, back in Scran...
Obama: Shut up! OK. Go ahead, Chip.
Crowley: Actually, Sam Adams never owned slaves.
Gates: Where'd you get that, the History channel? Look, whatever. Are you down for some speeches. I'll explain why your actions were a result of systematic racism and you say something like, "You're just a spade." Big bucks. Not a big deal for me, but a dude like you can buy some NASCAR tickets or something.
Crowley: Sure. Maybe we can donate the money to some African-American charity.
Gates: Yeah, right.
Biden: Here, Mr. Gates. Back in Scrant..
Crowley, Obama, Gates: Shut up!
Obama: Can you move a little, Chip. The gleam in the teleprompter is bothering me. OK, thanks. Crap! We've got five minutes. So, Mr. Crowley, ummm what's your favorite gun?
Crowley: I don't know, O. Why do you ask?
Obama: Nothing. How about them Red Sox?
Crowley: They're OK. I'm worried about the pitching.
Obama: Yeah. OK, sports, guns. Little more, Chip? Thanks. Oh yeah! That Jon's a scumbag, leaving Octamom and all, isn't he?
Crowley: Jon?
Gates: That Kate. That's one salty cracker. You like 'em thick, Crowley?
Crowley: What?
Gates: Your wife. It's OK that she's obese.
Crowley: She's not obese.
Gates: You don't see her as obese because that's your white working class beauty standard. Us Africans find large women attractive too. If you were around Harvard long enough, however, you'd get to like normal women.
Obama: 3-2-1. O.K. Crowley, it was a pleasure. The usher will give you some Harry, the TV Repairman or whatever DVDs and some Walmart gift certificates. Want to get some steak, Chip?
Gates: Only if I'm buying.
Obama: I got this. Joe, be a good veep and rustle up the chopper. Tell them we're playing golf, too.
Biden: Can I co...
Obama: Joe, git!

1. I've heard people criticize Gates by saying that you shouldn't talk back to the police because "police have a gun." Not only isn't that a funny joke, it's an absurd argument. Does anybody think that a cop would shoot a man for being sassy?

2. The real problem with people arguing with police is that order breaks down. I'm a public school teacher. I can't have students decide whether to cuss me out in class. Everything would fall apart.

3. I don't see why whether the lady who called the police described Gates as "black" makes any difference.

4. Just to prove that conversations on race inevitably turn stupid:

Murphy also disputed accounts of her client as a white woman in the traditional sense. "The fact is, she's olive-skinned and of Portuguese descent. You wouldn't look at her and say, necessarily, 'Oh, there's a white woman.' You might think she was Hispanic," Murphy said.

5. In fact, the reason the study and discussion of racial things on campuses, from grammar school to college, has exploded in the past thirty years is because race talk is easy to understand. Even those without any academic talent can understand and comment on it.

6. Yes, Obama: One wrong turn in your life, from an elite private school in Hawaii to Columbia to Harvard to Chicago machine politics to president could have easily turned it into a crack-filled Hell. I think Obama should have been a motivational speaker instead of president:

7. Following Obama's policy of calling patriotic Americans "stupid" and "clinging" and insulting friendly nations while doing what he can to appease our enemies, Obama has shut down the ticker that gave Cubans their only non-Communist-censored news (the equivalent of talk radio in the United States). Good job! Because the reason that Cuba represses its people is that we're too informative.

8. Being consistent isn't too hard. I admire and agree with the Catholic nurse who refused to perform the abortion at Mount Sinai hospital in New York. If I owned a hospital, I wouldn't perform unnecessary abortions or, if abortion weren't against my religion, I wouldn't force doctors or nurses to do them. I don't own a hospital, however. A boss should expect his workers to follow his legal rules and have the ability to fire those who refuse.

9. I've sometimes wondered why I don't have any interest whatsoever in anything Harry Potter. I've tried to read it, but couldn't get past the first chapter. I couldn't finish any of the movies either. I don't hate Harry Potter; it just doesn't grab me. I think I have an answer.

I think back to the biggest Potter fans I've known. They're not little kids- they're middle-aged female librarian and English teacher types. The series is just too feminine.

10. I know why the Obama health care plan is failing: "Let's see: more money, less care and freedom. Ummm, no."

11. You can't blame "special interests" this time, as they all supported the Obama plan, even the insurers. It's been a grass-roots effort, like immigration reform a couple of years back.

12. Michael Vick should absolutely be able to play football. All he did was abuse animals. Plenty of players have abused intrinsically valuable people and are playing. That he's able to play is a good sign for national values.

13. The globa...I mean climate change debate is almost over. Soon, people won't be able to make the claim with a strait face anymore. More counter-evidence here.

Chad in da' house! While Nelson is busy doing the man's bidding, I decided to take time from grading papers from my professor's social ecology class, and throw some knowledge at you. Who knows, maybe a little truth can seep into your cool-aid-logged brains?

Anyways:

I turned on some sporting event to gather notes on my next column in the series, Why Americans are Stupid Racists and Have a Lot to Learn From Venezuela. I gathered lots of material: the warlike chants, sheep-like adherence to civic and national pride, ignorance of American imperialism, commercialism, distraction from the plight of the uninsured. Interrupting this American carnival of depravity are consumerist propaganda called, innocently enough, "commercials" that tell people they smell bad, have rough skin from shaving, and need to buy products that drain our Mother of Her resources.

Most of them are only mildly fascist. One of them is quite shocking, however, even for someone as aware as myself of American depravity.

Observe:

The ad, for some corporation called "Heineken" (I only drink beers from unaligned nations) appears to be saying that women get excited over clothes while men have a similar reaction towards beer, a completely sexist notion. Bush! My male friends love nothing more than to spend an afternoon looking through Details and GQ and planning the season's wardrobe, while a lot of women I know throw down beers at the same clip that Dick Cheney killed innocent Iraqi babies (and good for them! women are finally showing that they can be as bold as any sex).

Then I noticed that the original commercial (above) was in German or something, "Hey, Europeans are enlightened. How can they stoop to American-style ignorance?" I thought.

Well, they don't. You see, the commercial is lampooning the idea that men and women would use house-space any differently, and Americans take it seriously. Ha! The jokes on you, homophobes! Witness this response:

You see, the men, in asserting sex differences, isolate themselves from mainstream society and lose out on what society has deemed "desirable females," just as Darwin points out.

It also suggests that men who have long hair and are cool are not homosexuals, unlike those who practice gender conformity.

Oh, and yes, I realize that nobody should have a large enough carbon footprint as to necessitate such a huge closet (I've converted my mom's walk-in closet into a classroom to teach local youth about the crimes commited in their name), but I'm not a fanatic.

I very rarely purchase movies, as I usually only watch them once, and Netflix satisfies my movie needs nicely. If I were to purchase movies, however, they'd be Blu-Ray.

It's not that I'm super-picky when it comes to picture quality, and the only "special feature" I've every used is the documentary on the Special Editions of Lord of the Rings (OK, I saw the cheesy space alien "documentary" on the Stargate DVD): It's that prices have fallen to where Blu-Ray isn't too luxurious a choice.

Rent or buy, you're going to need a player. I went to the place where everybody knows my name, Fry's (in Industry), and sought a Blu-ray player for my computer.

I purchased the Sony BDUX10S because it was on sale. It works fine and comes with different color face plates, not unimportant if your computer is in your living room like mine is.

One problem I have with a computer Blu-Ray player versus a set-top unit: Software. The Sony I purchased comes with software to play Blu-Ray discs, Cyperlink PowerDVD, but I've had to update several times to play some of the newer discs like Firefly. So far, it's played everything I've plopped onto the BDUX1OS's tray, but I don't expect my luck to hold out forever.

The solution would be to buy standalone software. Well, buying the software separately costs $99.00 or, more than the drive itself.

I'd advise everybody purchasing a computer to consider a Blu-Ray combo player- one that plays but doesn't record Blu-Ray, at least, if the cost isn't more than about $100 more.

PowerDVD 9 Ultra

Sony SATA Blu-ray Disc-ROM Drive (Internal)

Stargate (Extended Cut) [Blu-ray]

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy (Extended Editions) [Blu-ray]

Firefly: The Complete Series [Blu-ray] by Joss Whedon

Blu-Ray story below:

Read more »

The best live-action giant robot movie, ever.

It's also a very good movie in its own right.

As you may have expected from the ending of the first movie, which I also liked, Megatron is "awakened" to do the bidding of Fallen, who's trying to build robots on Cybertron without Energon, which is, if you've ever tried it, like doing something without what you need to do it (sorry, family blog). Anyways, he must be stopped.
T2 has a sort of a James Bond feel in that it takes place in various "exotic" settings throughout the world. World class sentient robot fight scenes. Some solid laughs of the "I can't believe I'm talking to a giant robot" variety and former Section 7 agent and deli owner Seymour Simmons (John Turturro). Two world-class babes as well: Megan Fox and Isabel Lucas.

The "funny character who accidentally get involved in something much larger than himself" is a college student who runs a conspiracy website.

T2 didn't feel long. I enjoyed myself thoroughly. For those of you who thought that you bought a ticket for Schindler's List or My Dinner with Andre: Wake up! It's a movie about giant robots.

One thing: Megan Fox (Mikaela), God love her, is the worst actress since the scientist in Star Trek IV. Luckily, the writers are kind to the audience and just have her run sexily through rubble and change outfits in the middle of the street. Typical scene:

Mikaela: Darn, a phone call, right when I'm polishing this motorcycle with my butt in the air, as if... Let me answer and sigh something sexy.

Witwicky: Here comes a huge robot!

[cut to Fox]

Mikaela: (pouting) sigh!

Politics/Message:

Michael Bay is coyly political. He's pro-military, much to the annoyance of New York Times film critics. He makes fun of "appeasing" politicians and portrays their lackeys as cowardly bureaucrats. In one scene, a reporter says how Obama is headed to an "undisclosed location." Flight, if you remember Fahrenheit 9/11, is what Michael Moore accuses George Bush of doing. I did see these as a criticism of Obama since he has no military experience and is eager to appease.

I'm not sure if this is a case of racism, but I'd agree with Henry Gates (I assume) that T2 revels in racial stereotypes. Two small autobots are black "homeboys from the block." They insult each other and make extensive use of slang. The shocking part is when, once having established their ghetto cred, one of them admits to not knowing how to read.

A Jewish mother nags his deli-owning son. I didn't detect anything negative about Arabs, even though they were in the film.

Interestingly, when the military needs backup in Egypt, they call the Jordanian Air Force and not the more effective Israeli one.

Transformers (Two-Disc Special Edition + BD Live) [Blu-ray]

Schindler's List [Blu-ray] by Thomas Keneally

My Dinner with Andre (Criterion Collection)