Asymmetric

LGZV (Lich, Ghoul, Zombie, Vampire) community leaders praised Obama's mention of the corpsed community. unSpokesman Keith Richards said that the acknowledgment was long past due, "some people don't even know we're alive...err...that we're here."

Richards also welcomed the decision to let the undead serve openly in the military, "The undead are amongst the best soldiers in the military today. Some of us won't stop attacking until our heads are blown off. We're essential in night ops. Vampires make great medics, under proper supervision. Werewolves only need a little special accommodation, and just one day a month." Richards went on to say that the next step is to modernize the chaplain corps, "We'd need some sound-proofed rooms. The howling gets a little intense at times."

...that "sometimes when you lose an arm, another sense takes over."

?

"This isn't the Democratic party of our fathers and grandfathers. This is the party of Woodstock hippies. I was at Woodstock — I built the stage. And when everything fell apart, and people were fighting for peanut-butter sandwiches, it was the National Guard who came in and saved the same people who were protesting them. So when Hillary Clinton a few years ago wanted to build a Woodstock memorial, I said it should be a statue of a National Guardsman feeding a crying hippie."-John Ratzenberger.

Yesterday, I assembled some Rock and Roll songs that trumpeted conservative values. Today, I'm doing my far left* brothers and sisters a favor by compiling a list to encourage them as they seek to change America for the better:

1. Sign of the Times, Donna Fargo.

Podcast

Donna Fargo Winners by Donna Fargo

The Best of Donna Fargo: 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection

In this song, Donna sings of the American dream turning into a "nightmare." 1863? 1933? 1942? No, the year we'd all like to forget, 1986. Apparently, Donna had access to some detailed census data, as she concluded that Jews suffered proportionately. Unemployment was at 50%?

2. Cortez the Killer, Neil Young.

Proving that extremism begs for an opposite, "noble savagery" is an attempt by Europeans to reverse European feelings of superiority over the people whose land they colonized. The problem with those who take the noble savage route, is that, in their desire to make amends, they often lie, distort, or, like Neil Young, just say stupid stuff.

The Cortez in the song is Hernan Cortez, Spanish conquistador. Why sing about Cortez and not, say, other conquests in history like in everywhere else in the world since the beginning of humanity? Because Cortez was white and the Aztecs weren't, I guess.

If you know anything about Aztec civilization, you know how ridiculous this is:

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.

Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.

Read more »

Scott Brown famously advertised his daughters' eligibility during his victory speech.

I think it's sweet that he wants his girls married to a respectable gentleman.

Then, the urbane, intellectual Huffington Post sandwiched a music video with Scott Brown's wife, Gail Huff, between "7 Weird Things Women do to Their Privates" and an issue crucial to the survival of the Republic, Natalie Portman's right nipple.

To prove that I can be as hip as HP, the video:

Any evolutionist knows that a pretty woman is likely to give birth to a pretty daughter (proven in my own family). I searched for the prettiest mother-daughter combination and came upon this, the poorest-written blog post since Levi Johnston gave his reason for supporting a public option. But, who cares? It's a story on the PRETTIEST mother-daughter pairs, not a dissertation on aesthetics.

Carlos Argentino, the charismatic singer for the Sonora Matancera faces the difficult task of choosing between a young senorita and her MILFish mama in the merengue, "La Hija y la Mama."

It's the podcast.

Algo Especial Por La Sonora Matancera

Research, and I found out that the Dominican Luis Kalaff sang it first. I like it better for the funky, punctuating horns and the accordion.

As you can imagine, expressing interest in both a mom and a daughter can lead to trouble.

Comeuppance:

Merengue

King of Merengue

Bailemos Merengue, Vol. 1

Bailemos Merengue Vol.2