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Army Wives on Lifetime: Complaint answered.
06/18/07
I'll review the show on Wednesday after my test, but I'll respond to this letter today I read in this week's issue of the Army Times today. In it, an an Army Wife expresses her displeasure at Army Wives, a show on Lifetime(!) for not portraying the lives of real-life Army wives accurately. She's shocked. Shocked! that a Soap Opera on Lifetime is more concerned about drama than the accurate portrayal of the Army wife lifestyle.
I don't mean to be harsh with Mrs. Franz who I'm sure is a nice woman and an exemplary Army wife. But television shows of this type exist to present dramatic situations. As laudable as home-schooling is, I'm sure most women prefer to see a show where the characters fall in love with men other than their husbands, cat around in "Jody bars," and face domestic violence than a mother dutifully cutting up paper pizzas to teach fractions. Really, can anybody think of a television drama without some elements of conflict? Can anybody think of dramas geared towards the fairer sex without at least a hint of scandal?
Which brings me to my next point. Nobody respects Soldiers and their wives more than me. My own wife dutifully held the fort for a full year and a half in my absence. But, we should avoid the temptation to be self-righteous. Most people in the Army are wonderful spouses, but the type of misbehavior portrayed in Army Wives isn't rare. Unfortunately, both husbands and wives (and boyfriends and girlfriends) cheat, max credit cards, and otherwise act in a shameful manner. I've seen it-often.
So, while Mrs. Franz is correct, Army Wives is correct as well. It's proper to support the brave, admirable men and women who sacrifice their time as a family, their money, and sometimes, their health, to serve their country, but it would be wrong to create a sort of reverse political correctness whereby military personnel are beyond reproach.
Catherine Bell of Army Wives Yes, Army Wives are sexy.
Below is the article
Follow up:
‘Army wives’ far from reality
This Army wife calls salacious TV show a slap in the face
By Victoria A. Franz -
Posted : June 25, 2007As an Army wife, I waited with bated breath to view the first episode of the new Lifetime series “Army Wives.” My mind was abuzz with all the trials and tribulations that surely must be touched upon in such a series. Finally a drama would capture the essence of the military spouse, the sacrifices, the sorrows, the courage and the triumph of some of the strongest people I know.
With such a small population of the country affiliated with the military and an even smaller population truly concerned with the unpublished toils of the war on terrorism, I yearned for the credibility this show was destined to bring to military spouses.
I looked forward to the same sense of belonging and understanding that as an emergency room nurse I felt when I watched NBC’s “ER.”
What I witnessed twice (I had to watch the encore just to assure myself I had not misinterpreted what I was seeing) was the utter degradation and humiliation of Army spouses everywhere. Shame on Lifetime, and shame on Tanya Biank, author of the book on which the series is based.
My comrades-in-arms were portrayed as bar-hopping adulteresses, snobby officer-wife shrews, rumor-spreading, uneducated, uncouth, abused women living on a post as made up as Wisteria Lane from “Desperate Housewives.”
Who gets housing the very day they arrive on a post? And I don’t care how high ranking a sponsor is — no child is getting a sports physical on the fly in the emergency room.
The Army wives I have had the pleasure to know over the years have been smart (either formally educated or simply common-sense smart), strong-willed, hard-working and dedicated.
There have been a few exceptions — just as in any society — but as a general rule, Army wives are down-to-earth, good people.
What I was hoping to see through Hollywood’s eyes were family readiness groups struggling to create events to foster camaraderie among those left behind, broken phone trees due to phones being cut off, empty base houses from families packing up and moving while the service member deploys, and the impact such mass exoduses have on local businesses.
I hoped Lifetime could capture the endless labor of love that volunteer spouses pump into the military community. I also hoped Lifetime could reveal the secret as to where these extraordinary women and men get the energy to keep giving. Some of these career volunteers have more get-up-and-go than the Energizer bunny.
I envisioned America seeing a young military spouse delivering her child alone because she went into labor three days before her spouse’s R&R and developing empathy for her plight, as well as that of the thousands of women who have delivered alone.
I hoped to see the families that, despite numerous moves, try to create continuity among their children’s education through home-schooling. I longed to see a storyline created around the unexpected friendships that form among people from different geographical locations, races and cultures.
I hoped to find in any one of the characters just a little piece of me — a woman with a career who is under pressure day in and day out to support my spouse, meet the demands of my job, keep up the house, the yard and the bills, attend college, shuffle kids from place to place, and try to attend every possible school function for all three children to prevent anyone from feeling neglected.
I wanted America to see the true struggles and strength of our Army wives.
Lifetime’s depiction forgot about the tears late at night when no one is looking and the spouses who get up dozens of times every night to check the doors to make sure they are locked. Where were the children who watch the Elmo video over and over again and sleep with mommy or daddy nightly because they are afraid the service member will not come home?
More credibility would have gone into a story about the battalion commander’s wife (or family readiness leader) getting a call from a wife who has no money because her husband controls the funds and left her only minimal money to cover necessities while he was deployed. How about a story about the spouse who enters a store and gets an unexpected discount from a supportive business due to her husband’s service? A tale of such kindness and its impact would surely strike a chord.
What about scenarios in which the child of a military member is denied playing time on a team or denied scholarship opportunities due to moving late in his high school career?
Depictions of the pain and helplessness an Army wife and mother feels when she cannot control or fix everything are much more realistic than a military wife secretly delivering someone else’s (surrogate) babies on a pool table.
I am proud to be an Army wife and saddened that many Americans will develop misconceptions about Army wives based on this television series. We may as well hang up our hats and open the door to stereotypes and criticism.
The “Army Wives” that Lifetime offered to America appear desperate for a follow-on assignment to Wisteria Lane. After just one episode, I say it is time for the packers.
The writer has been married to Maj. Pete Franz for 19 years and has been an Army wife for 16 years. She is the mother of three teenagers (one of whom is headed for a service academy this summer), a veteran and acting head nurse of a primary care clinic at Dwight D. Eisenhower Army Medical Center, Ga.
), 06:32:24 pm, 1296 words PermalinkCategories: Opinion, Fun Army stuff :: 29 comments »
29 comments
But, like all hollywood shows, some are true to reality and a lot is made up.
I am not sure if I will stay dedicated to this show, but, it is a step towards "civilians" to see what everyday life is like for a military family, especially a wife. I was PROUD to be a Solider's wife and have learned and grown from this experience. Most of my friends are those I met in the military. I don't think that a TV show could ever really show what life is like. We all have our own stories and struggles, sacrifices, joys and sorrows from being in the military. It truely takes a STRONG WOMAN to be a Military Wife. I found strength I never knew I had or was capable of having. I could go on and on. I agree with everything you said. God Bless the Military, their families and those who have risked their lifes for our Freedom.
discuss Army Wives. Like most, I
anticipated a realistic show of being an
Army Wife. Having been married to two,
I know what's real and what's not. While I like the idea, the characters need greater depth and the scenarios need more thought.
Oh, let's get the insignia, beret, uniform things right shall we? Hire a consultant to tidy up the details. It's important.
I'm liking this series and giving it the
full 13 programs to mature and ripen. BTW,
there is NOTHING STRONGER than a MILITARY
SPOUSE. Without them, where would all us
warriors be??
We all would love to have a show or series based on the positive and heartfelt experiences of what we encounter and do in life or basically of what we are, so we might have something to be proud of. But to the television and movie industry, are the stories that Mrs. Franz wants told about Army wives good business? Is it feasible for Lifetime to tell the stories that she desires and make it marketable to the public while creating good drama?
Case in point: As a serviceman for close to 18 years, I am a second-generation person of Puerto Rican descent who was raised in the poor slums in New York City. I attained a bachelor’s degree from the University of Connecticut and I’ve shared myself with a “better half” for close to 15 years.
I have been around the world and worked on Wall Street for many years as a computer engineer. I experienced Sept. 11 right in my back yard and came back to active duty as a Title X soldier before going to Iraq for a year as a military policeman. I have encountered numerous individuals with similar backgrounds and experiences to mine, but when I turn on the boob tube, the only thing I ever see that portrays me is the uneducated, drug-addicted ex-convict who speaks with the vocabulary of a 13-year-old and uses profanity worse than a sailor.
To say a show is far from reality without seeing an environment from all sides is being unfair to the show. Unless you rub elbows with all ranks and echelons and never witnessed the negativity that happens on a consistent basis, then you are very much misinformed.
The Army is known to have a high divorce rate, and the military environment is as prone as the civilian world to infidelity and inappropriate relationships due to the immaturity of the young people it employs and the ratio of men to women.
The facts and statistics are there to promote a true, fact-based show based on reality. It will be salacious; it will bring in revenue due to high ratings. That is the intent of the business. Those television writers are not making those “far from reality” stories up. I don’t think it’s a slap in the face; it’s perhaps an awakening, and besides, entertainment should promote better morals and judgment in the little military society.
When I saw those characters on TV that are trying to emulate me, I did my best to disprove that character by realizing my self-worth, and decided on a path for the better.
Staff Sgt. Louis Quinones
Heidelberg, Germany
Lets see how anyone else can go anywhere from 6 months to a year and a half without kissing, holding, or talking to the one you love. I am proud to say that I am faithful, honorable and loyal to my Marine while I know if other wives that are cheating on there husbands the minutte they leave whether it's for delpoyment or a regular training op.
I enjoy the show cause I can relate to the characters on a lot of levels. In my opinion the people who are having negative feedback about the show have never been in or around the military world. I think that this show has been a long time coming. We always here stories and see movies about our men and women who fight for us over there BUT we NEVER here the stories, read the books or see the movied about real military spouses who stay behind to hold down the fort and our daily struggles. Like Jerswyf said " look beyond the drama" and try and see the real message they are trying to send.
Maribel S.
Proud Marine Wife of
LCPL William currently in Iraq
Officers and enlited do not fratenize. I never had a officer wife come to my defense. I love the officers, don't get me wrong, but as enlisted, it doesn't work that way. There are rules within the military which prohibit such interaction.
The military wife is a very strong person, any spouse of any servicemember should hold their head high.
I have to agree with Mrs. Franz as there are some episodes that should have been portrayed as dealing with housing regulations while spouse is deployed (cutting grass, leaving porch lights on, getting emergency work orders done) The wives know what I am talking about.
Or, where was the show about military kids attending public schools? Just because a military kid stops a non-miltary brat from burning a flag and gets suspended for insighting a riot??? Oh that is right, their parent support the freedom of speech and expression...HMMMM
There are numerous other accounts of where the spouse has had to play both roles and overcome hardships.
The show needs more military wives as advisors to set the record straight.
Personally I LOVE this show!!!! Its great entertainment, and while they may not get everything right they get enough to give people a glimpse into a little part of an Army Wife's life.
As I read the first letter above, I had to kind of laugh that someone took a tv show that seriously because we all want to watch a tv show about someone sitting around waiting for military housing for two years while homeschooling their kids out of the back of their car. For godsakes its a TV SHOW meant for entertainment. They never claimed it was going to be a true life adventure, but a drama on a cable station known for their DRAMAS!!
OK here are the parts that I had some major issues with...
"My comrades-in-arms were portrayed as bar-hopping adulteresses, snobby officer-wife shrews, rumor-spreading, uneducated, uncouth, abused women living on a post as made up as Wisteria Lane from “Desperate Housewives"
You just described HALF of the military...people in the military come from all walks of life. Many ARE uneducated, abuse their spouses, I dont think I have to say anything about rumors, anyone living on any post knows how that one goes...the same with cheating..has this woman ever checked up on the divorce rate of the military? And my fav, Officer Wive shrews...well we have all encountered those women...that is IF you are married to an enlisted.
Anyway I could go on and on about most of the woman's comments. I am a proud Army wife, this is our 7th deployment and I can tell you this you wont catch me typing any kind of woa is me letter to any type of paper complaining how hard my life is because I am madly in love with a man who defends our country. I find it extremely appalling that this woman dispite all she says she has to do has enough time to write a letter about a TV SHOW whining and crying because they didnt show someone desperate and falling apart crying at night and checking their doors. Who wants to watch a show like that? Not me! I dont even want to BE like that for goodness sakes!
My advice...enjoy the show for what it is, entertainment! I cant wait for it to come back it is one of my favorites and my DVR is already set for it!
I didn’t think Army Wives was too bad. I saw the first three episodes and just thought it was a little too “Lifetimish” for my taste, but I’m a guy. What can I do? I was mostly responding to the attitude that people should be extra careful when portraying soldiers or their families. We should be humble-service is a priviledge! People will respect us or not independent of what we say. In fact, I think saying “everything about us is good” is counterproductive, if you cared about such things. A little self-deprication goes a long way.
But I’m very happy that you're proud of being Army wives. The Army either makes a relationship stronger or deals the death blow. Thanks for stopping by, too.
I am a military wife. Proud of it. It is hard and no one understands what you go through unless they live it. I think that I why I turn to the show every Sunday night. They (the characters) understand things that no one else does.
I didn't like the first episode because I thought it was a little to much like a soap but it got better as the characters were developed. I know not all of the situations were real...like the emergency room scene...but the emotions behind Roxy not knowing what to do was very real. Haven't we all felt that way as new wives? I know that I am still trying to figure things out.
I also know that good, honest people don't like seeing the role of Army wives discredited by those who have affairs and such...but I think it is important for the world to see that those things happen because life is so hard in the military, you do get lonely and it can happen to the best of people. I can identify on so many levels with these characters..even if the situations aren't real.
I did have to laugh at Mrs. Franz who wanted the same feeling she got from ER...don't you remember the first episode when Carol tried to committ suicide? Don't you remember when Mark's wife cheated on him and he found out because she was in a car accident....does that happen in every ER...no, it was just drama to help us understand what kind of intense pressure these people are under and the decisions they make. Can't it be the same for Army Wives?
We all make choices - whether to participate in the rumor mill, or to remain silent - or use rank for priveledge, or remain humble, etc. Some choices are better than others and some spouses make better choices than other spouses too.
The anger expressed here is probably more against the injustices and immoral actions of our society in general as opposed to the views expressed by the writers and producers of the show.
For those who liked the show and saw it as entertainment, bravo - keep filling your head with useless drama... For those who were offended - make your choice to watch something else - read a book even! Join a bible study and invite a friend. Hollywood certainly doesn't have it right - not even close!
Navy spouse.
Hi, I am an army wife. When this show aired my husband was stationed in Iraq. I love the show and believe me as a mother of 4 with 3 grandbabies there is alot of drama in our lives. The show is great. I love the drama. My sister-inlaw is also an army wife and feels the same way. Believe me I cried every episode, it touched me that much. Thanks 
I too am an army wife and I'm thrilled with the show. To comment the others that are complaining about it...if true army-wife life was put into a tv show it would lead to no drama and definitely not capture an audience. Just like most of the other shows out there (i.e. any hospital show, or basically...any drama show) it does not depict true life in that situation. It's based around drama and what will capture an audience. I'm stuck on the show Big Love as well but I know, through research, that the life of the main family is nowhere near factual.
It's called a drama television show..get over it ladies.
You have to understand movies and their perspective on a army wife: they try to make the show as interesting as possible, sometimes pushing some personality traits over the normal limits and creating highly accentuated personalities that catch the eye and create a mistery. 
I am a (very proud) Navy wife. I don't think that the show was too far-reaching. I am shocked to see how flippantly some people treat marriage/affairs in the military world and how open people are about it. I think that the writers reflected this very accurately. My experience with Officers' wives (albeit, usually within certain ranks) has often been negative and condescending - even before they know that I am a military spouse. The Officers themselves like to play the rank game too sometimes. The folks on my base will turn back flips to get a nod of approval from our base commander (equivalent of Claudia-Joy's husband), even the civilians, so I didn't think that the ER scene was that shocking at all. While very dramatized, I think that this show is an excellent portrayal of military life and the trials of being a spouse. The writer of the above letter is a little idealistic and seems to take herself very seriously. After all, I think we can all agree that Military wives are the most "Desperate Housewives" of all - desperate for him to come home, desperate to make ends meet when there's a problem with his paycheck, desperate to find SOMETHING to do to keep your mind off deployments, desperate to find some stability while moving every 1-3 years, desperate for there to be more time in the day to get everything done. 
I personally love the show army wives and can't wait for it to come on every week. I am a military spouse and gone through the trials and tribulations of the military life. I don't see it as being that far from the truth actually. I don't see them as bar hoppers on the show first of all and the main characters are not snotty women but they did portray snotty women in the show from time to time which is absolutely true!Oh and BTW I had housing waiting for me on my recent move last month complete with loaner furniture already in it and a sponsor who stocked my shelves, bath things and sheets for the loaner bed. So yes people can get housing right away on a military base. I had a house waiting for me weeks before I even arrived.
I mean every duty station, every command, every branch is somewhat different. So that may be what happens in your life but for other military families they may be hitting it dead on. Like they have the FRG in the show and you praise the FRG in your letter, but the FRG for my command isn't worth a dime. Unorganized, unhelpful and pretty well pointless. See while your FRG may be great mine isn't.
I guess what I'm trying to say is in the show I can see many of the things they portray and some things I don't. Not every military spouses life or post or base or duty station is the same as yours. Wherever you live and whatever command your husband is in isn't the only post and only command in the military. From moving around you should recognize that every where you go is different and people are different. As my husband moved up the ranks the people in our neighborhood were different.
That's just my opinion. I love the show and hell it's tv. Sure it's called Army wives supposed to be portraying army wives and I think they are, but it's also tv. People won't watch it if there isn't any drama.
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