Asymmetric Military

The story below reminds me of my recent training in Missouri where I first encountered the Chuck Norris joke.

The premise of the jokes is that Chuck Norris is both indestructible and cold-hearted.

Some of the jokes:

1. Chuck Norris' tears can cure cancer, but we can't use them because he's never cried.

2. Chuck Norris is the only person who can roundhouse kick to the back of somebody's face (I never got that one).

We'd adapt Chuck Norris jokes for Army use:

3. Chuck Norris doesn't have to clear rooms, he'd just roundhouse kick it down (during urban ops).

4. Insurgents left because we dropped leaflets announcing the imminent arrival of Chuck Norris (during a news announcement about the success of the surge).

Anyways, more jokes here and here.

These are Marines, but they probably took the idea from the Army.

Chun Kuk Do

Chuck Norris created the martial art Chun Kuk Do it is based primarily on Tang Soo Do and includes elements from every combat style Chuck knows. Like many other martial arts Chun Kuk Do includes a code of honor and rules to live by. These rules are from Chuck Norris' personal code. they are:

1. I will develop myself to the maximum of my potential in all ways.
2. I will forget the mistakes of the past and press on to greater achievements.
3. I will always be in a positive frame of mind and convey this feeling to every person that I meet.
4. I will continually work at developing love, happiness and loyalty in my family and acknowledge that no other success can compensate for failure in the home.
5. I will look for the good in all people and make them feel worthwhile.
6. If I have nothing good to say about a person, I will say nothing.
7. I will give so much time to the improvement of myself that I will have no time to criticize others.
8. I will always be as enthusiastic about the success of others as I am about my own.
9. I will maintain an attitude of open-mindedness toward another person's viewpoint while still holding fast to that which I know to be true and honest.
10. I will maintain respect for those in authority and demonstrate this respect at all times.
11. I will always remain loyal to God, my country, family and my friends.
12. I will remain highly goal-oriented throughout my life because that positive attitude helps my family, my country, and myself.

31 July 07
By Sgt. Brandon Aird
173rd ABCT Public Affairs

KUNAR PROVINCE, Afghanistan - Paratroopers from the 173rd Airborne Brigade Combat Team spent July 22-28 in Dangam district in Kunar province near the Pakistan border. The area is surrounded by lush farms that thrive from a stream flowing through the valley.

Follow up:

Paratroopers from Red Platoon, Charlie Troop, 1st Squadron, 91st Cavalry Regiment (Airborne), navigate to Observation Post Chuck Norris July 25 in Dangam, Kunar province. Photo by Sgt. Brandon Aird.The Soldiers are from Red Platoon, Charlie Troop, 1st Squadron, 91st Cavalry Regiment (Airborne), and they were in the area to help fortify the position of an Afghan National Police station and also to establish and reinforce observations posts with the Afghan National Army on nearby hilltops.

The OPs help monitor and stop Taliban extremist movement in the area. Red Platoon named the OPs after one Soldier’s mom, another’s daughter, Sandra and Haden respectively and famous TV stars:, Chuck Norris and Mr. T.

"We thought of the baddest dudes we knew," said Army Staff Sgt. David Benoit, a squad leader in Red Platoon. "Naming OPs like we do helps keep morale up."

Even though the atmosphere in Red Platoon is a little laid back, the Soldiers take their jobs seriously. From OPs Norris and Mr. T, the platoon observed cross-border activity, called for and adjusted indirect fires, and engaged the enemy with direct fire.

"Our mission was to establish a joint security station in the Dangam area with the Afghan National Police and Afghan National Army," said Army 1st Lt. Jesus Rubio, Red Platoon leader. "We’re also out here to get situational awareness of the area and build friendships with the local leaders."

The district center of Dangam is a sign of progress for the local ANP. The center has a store, mosque, police station and a school for girls and boys. It also has computers and internet capabilities.

Red Platoon has built up the area around the ANP station to better safeguard against attacks from Taliban extremists. The district center fortifications are just a small piece of the mission.

The observation posts that Red Platoon maintains also help build cohesion between the Soldiers and the local populace.

"We met the new Afghan Border Patrol commander while we were out at Mr. T," said Benoit. "A local villager walked all the way up the mountain to tell us the whole valley was talking about us. Everyone was very excited we were up here, he told us."

Another benefit of establishing OPs throughout the valley is the intelligence that was gathered.

"We observed the bad guys moving on the mountain," said Benoit. "We also got names of smugglers. We definitely laid the grounds for long-term relationships with the locals."

Red Platoon is in the initial phase of helping build up the district center. Future joint operations will continue for the next 14 months that Red Platoon will be in Afghanistan.

Numerous times at OPs and at the district center, the local village elders would invite the Soldiers over to their houses for food and tea.

"The Afghans treated us like kings at Mr. Ts," said Benoit. "It was awesome."

Photo - Paratroopers from Red Platoon, Charlie Troop, 1st Squadron, 91st Cavalry Regiment (Airborne), navigate to Observation Post Chuck Norris July 25 in Dangam, Kunar province. Photo by Sgt. Brandon Aird.