Asymmetric Military

The Army is filled with wonderful men and women who make the organization the envy of the world. The Army, comes up short, however, in the poetry department. Specifically, the Soldier's creed which, when I entered the Army in 2003, was the following:

I am an American Soldier.
I am a member of the United States Army -- a protector of the greatest nation on earth.
Because I am proud of the uniform I wear, I will always act in ways creditable to the military service and the nation it is sworn to guard.

I am proud of my own organization. I will do all I can to make it the finest unit in the Army.
I will be loyal to those under whom I serve. I will do my full part to carry out orders and instructions given to me or my unit.

As a soldier, I realize that I am a member of a time-honored profession--that I am doing my share to keep alive the principles of freedom for which my country stands.
No matter what the situation I am in, I will never do anything, for pleasure, profit, or personal safety, which will disgrace my uniform, my unit, or my country.
I will use every means I have, even beyond the line of duty, to restrain my Army comrades from actions disgraceful to themselves and to the uniform.

I am proud of my country and its flag.
I will try to make the people of this nation proud of the service I represent, for I am an American Soldier.

Not exactly Shakespeare. After a stirring start (I love the "greatest nation" stuff), the first declines into a clunky prose (As a soldier...; …finest unit…; and the awful, ...restrain my Army comrades...) that robs it of any emotional punch. Also, saying a soldier has to be loyal makes the next phrase about following orders redundant, as are the two lines exhorting soldiers not to disgrace the uniform. It seems like whoever chose the creed felt soldiers needed both positive (I will always act in ways creditable…) and negative (I will never...which will disgrace…)reinforcement.

The next year, the creed changed to:

I am an American Soldier.
I am a Warrior and a member of a team.
I serve the people of the United States, and live the Army Values.

I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.

I am disciplined, physically and mentally tough,
Trained and proficient in my warrior tasks and drills.
I always maintain my arms, my equipment and myself.
I am an expert and I am a professional.
I stand ready to deploy, engage, and destroy, the enemies of the United States of America in close combat.
I am a guardian of freedom and the American way of life.
I am an American Soldier.

This one sounds better (And the Ranger who made it up, Matt Larsen, can kill me with his bare hands within two seconds so I know that I'd better be careful.), but it's still more thorough than poetic. Whereas the former creed mostly dealt with military ideals, the new creed addresses practical problems like weapons maintenance. It sounds as if the Army were preoccupied with solving problems brought up at a meeting**:

"The commanders are complaining that the soldiers are not performing their warrior tasks proficiently, that they’re not doing their PMCSs,* and that they're failing their PT tests."

"Yeah, I see that. Let's add that into the creed."

"What about ironing uniforms and shining boots?"

"The next uniforms will be wrinkle-free."

"O.K. great. Leave it out."

It too is filled with energy-robbing redundancies; can we assume that if you’re engaging and destroying the enemy, you’re deployed? Finally, the "professional" and "expert" lines sound insecure; of course American soldiers are experts and professionals- they're American soldiers.

What's needed is a creed that focuses on ideals and assumes that everybody will do their best to stay ready.
Something like:

I am an American Soldier, protector of the greatest nation on Earth and servant to the American people.

As a member of the United States Army,

I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.
I will never disgrace my uniform, my unit, or my country.
I will stand ready to engage and destroy the enemies of the United States of America.

I am an American Soldier.

Let me know what you think.

*preventative maintenance checks and services.

**This is a fictional meeting and not meant to represent anybody serving in the Army-especially not Matt Larsen.

Would anybody mistake these men for amateurs? Really.