Comrade Chad

Nelson suggested I accompany him to the Amerikan Mind-control Center (AMC) and I accepted, as dad was mad at me and only fronted me enough cash for regular coffee. Upon arrival, I immediately noticed the difference between this temple to bourgeois consumerism and the cinema I usually attend. Instead of the in-tune socially conscious people I find at the Nuart, I sat amongst cretins who only thought of stuffing their face with the popcorn in their grubby hands and their minds with the mush on screen. No cool thick glasses with beat up sports coats and authentic jeans in this crowd. Nope. People wore things from Wal-mart; some even brought children! During the movie, I tried to explain how Amerika stole popcorn from the Native Americans, but instead of benefitting from my knowledge, they preferred to imbibe the lies projected on screen.

Anyways, Nelson picked The Nativity Story. “Great! I thought, now I have to sit next to some right-wing Christianist and hear the saliva trickle through his three teeth while he plays with his snakes.” I suggested to Nelson that we make-out just to see them freak, but he refused.

Right off the bat, I knew I was in for a propaganda-filled screed. My studies and consciousness-raising experiences inure me to any brainwashing, but what about the sheeple in the rest of the country? Are they going to fall for this? Of course! They’re Americans. The opening scene has Palestinian soldiers defending themselves from Zionist aggression by “slaughtering” newborn Jewish babies. Typical of the American media, the movie never mentions the slaughters perpetrated on innocent Palestinian babies by the IDF. Wouldn’t it have been fair to include a flash-forward to the under-reported Aytaroun massacres? This technique is not uncommon in more sophisticated French (redundant, I know) cinema-verite films.

The movie also sneaks in a plea for prayer in schools. In one scene, children are being indoctrinated into the Jewish myth by mindlessly, but blindly enthusiastically repeating Bible verses-no doubt skipping the first time God ordered Jews to practice genocide against innocent Palestinians. Pink Floyd is the proper model here.

After doing its best to destroy the dignity of children, The Nativity Story goes after women. The Mary of The Nativity Story could have made a bold statement by proudly announcing her pregnancy and deciding to raise her child independently of any man. Better yet, instead of impossibly having been impregnated by some mythical angel, how about a turkey baster? Not in puritanical Hollywood, she conforms to the religious fanatics of the day and marries Joseph who, in the movie “protects” Mary, suggesting to the boobs in the audience that women need men as a kind to shield them from reality. Couldn’t she have rejected her condition and gone back to worshiping the goddesses of her ancestors instead of the patriarchal Yahweh? And three wise MEN? The producers could have made room for at least one woman here. A truly wise woman like Janeane Garofalo would have been perfect.

The movie’s not all bad. In a brilliant move, The Nativity Story compares the fahter and son dynasty of Herod and Herod II with GHW Bush and his spawn, W Beeazelbush, correctly pointing out that genocidal maniacs never fall far from the tree, although the Herod of the movie has an easier time with the English language than our current despot. Continuing the allegory, the film-makers portray the three Wise Men as the ancient version the heroic Kennedy, Pelosi, and Reid, with both trios refusing to cooperate with their own corrupt and cruel Herod. I also appreciated the advocacy for a single-payer health-care system. Obviously lacking medical insurance, Mary travels from home to home seeking medical attention before giving birth in a substandard manger. (spoiler)The ancient Bush' domestic policies force Mary to flee the manger before the Clinton mandated 48 hours as well. Lastly, the Nativity Story advocates for the social sciences by trumpeting the importance of accurate census data.

Unlike Nelson, I refuse to demean art with a rating system, but I will say that fellow progressives will find things to enjoy in this movie. Christianists will also enjoy it-just not at the same level.

As a public service and sevice and so that my friends won't think I'm going soft, I present the eminent public atheist absalutely destroying some fascist fool.

**Comrade Chad does not reflect the views of Nelson Guirado**