Comrade Chad

Ok this is it. According to corporate lackey nguirado, some of the Iraqis have turned against their liberators and towards the imperial forces of Amerikkka. We need to act quickly before this spreads. Call your congressman and tell him he must vote to pull out of Iraq right yesterday. Everything's on the line for this one. If we don't leave now, the Haliburton mercenaries may start tightening their noose around the great nation of Iraq (populated mostly by people of color).

Think of the Iraqi children who will fall under the size H (for hegemony) boot of Imperial Amerikkkan storm troopers.

Think of those ragtag freedom fighters counting on us for our support.

If you need extra motivation, imagine all of the fascists on their way to Wal-Mart or church or wherever the heck they assemble to drink their cool aid stopping us in the street to tell us George Beeazelbush was right!

Imagine walking into class and the Frat boy next to you telling you "I told you so, bro."

I myself plan a consciousness raising ceremony at 12:00 next to the quad. I'll be reading a poem by poet XXX3 comparing bush to the bugs in Starship Troopers.

**The views of Comrade Chad do not necessarily reflect the view of the Asymmetric staff**

Happy pe***wielder’s day, pathetic sheeple. As you congratulate your father for brandishing the club of dominance handed down over generations of patriarchy until he’s crossed and brings it down upon the heads of his life-producing inferior and future perpetuators of oppression, remember the billions of women who have had to slave over your male progenitors. Remember the Rosie’s who’ve never been able to express their true feelings.

Isn’t it about time that the social construction "father" is heaped upon the fire already home to such seemingly quaint, but brutal ideas as chastity and slavery? Take away his mastery of propaganda and what is he but a man bent on creating a small-scale version of the oppression he himself feels when he steps outside of the “castle” the true kings have allowed him to keep as a reminder of the genuine social order?

As usual, Americans are worst. In North Korea, women and men live in a state of mutual respect. It is only there that more women visit the supreme leader on any given day than men. Cuban women, those who refuse to bow down to the American pressure to conform to their idea of "freedom" make up forty percent of the Cuban legislature’s members.

In the United States, however, women, some unwittingly and some aware, but without the power to fight, bow down to men. They change their names upon him taking possession of her. They torture themselves with high heels and cover their faces with animal fats they’re told will make them more attractive to, yes, men, by the corporate powers that be.

And think about the fact that for nearly 5000 years, right after the fall of the nature goddesses, that fatherhood has been closely associated with malehood. For all of those years, women who have aspired to fatherhood have been essentially shut out from the all-male institution.

So, yes, by all means, purchase that tie. But remember that that it is he who will tie it around your neck. It is he who will strangle your freedom. Ahh, but one day, it is he who will provide the tie by which we may hang him.

How will I protest? I will not humiliate myself in front of the first oppressor to enter my life. When I ask for beer money today, I'll ask my mother instead.

**Comrade Chad does not necessarily represent the views of Asymmetric or of Nelson Guirado**

OK, I just finished my internship at the French Institute of Peace, and I'm back to teach people what I've learned.

As I hopped on that marvel of international cooperation, the Airbus, to teach the sheeple in Amerikkka how to live, people in my dorm were trying to figure out how, exactly, Karl Rove and the CIA, rigged the French election. It seems that they somehow repressed the social consciousness of the French people and replaced it with such wingnutty American ideas as competition.

Get this: The newly installed by Rove French president Nikkkola SarKKKozy is telling French youth that they may be fired from their jobs. Great, so now the life of millions of Frenchmen is dependent on the whim of some fat-cat businessman. SarKKKozy is essentially saying to French youth, "***k you, you have to work." Well, needless to say, my friends were mad as was I in solidarity with them. Gone are the days when they can serve the state by the important work of acting as a conscious for the country. It is this lack of recognition for those tasks considered "unproductive" that make me suspect foul play.

Not only is SarKKKozy anti-laborer, he's a racist. He thinks that immigrants are more prone to violence and criminality because statistics say so. He fails to examine how the French themselves drove them to such extremes. Wouldn't you commit crime if your adopted country saved you from a life of poverty and allowed you freedoms and subsidies you could only dream of in your former nation?

And what do they do? Burn a few symbols of industrial slavery like the automobile. I wouldn't be surprised in General Motors paid them to do that in order to sell more cars. The French should be thankful.

Anyways, the staff at Asymmetric said they'd let me raise your consciousness every once in a while.

**The views of Chad don't necessarily represent the views or opinions of Nelson or the Asymmetric staff**