Comrade Chad

Happy pe***wielder’s day, pathetic sheeple. As you congratulate your father for brandishing the club of dominance handed down over generations of patriarchy until he’s crossed and brings it down upon the heads of his life-producing inferior and future perpetuators of oppression, remember the billions of women who have had to slave over your male progenitors. Remember the Rosie’s who’ve never been able to express their true feelings.

Isn’t it about time that the social construction "father" is heaped upon the fire already home to such seemingly quaint, but brutal ideas as chastity and slavery? Take away his mastery of propaganda and what is he but a man bent on creating a small-scale version of the oppression he himself feels when he steps outside of the “castle” the true kings have allowed him to keep as a reminder of the genuine social order?

As usual, Americans are worst. In North Korea, women and men live in a state of mutual respect. It is only there that more women visit the supreme leader on any given day than men. Cuban women, those who refuse to bow down to the American pressure to conform to their idea of "freedom" make up forty percent of the Cuban legislature’s members.

In the United States, however, women, some unwittingly and some aware, but without the power to fight, bow down to men. They change their names upon him taking possession of her. They torture themselves with high heels and cover their faces with animal fats they’re told will make them more attractive to, yes, men, by the corporate powers that be.

And think about the fact that for nearly 5000 years, right after the fall of the nature goddesses, that fatherhood has been closely associated with malehood. For all of those years, women who have aspired to fatherhood have been essentially shut out from the all-male institution.

So, yes, by all means, purchase that tie. But remember that that it is he who will tie it around your neck. It is he who will strangle your freedom. Ahh, but one day, it is he who will provide the tie by which we may hang him.

How will I protest? I will not humiliate myself in front of the first oppressor to enter my life. When I ask for beer money today, I'll ask my mother instead.

**Comrade Chad does not necessarily represent the views of Asymmetric or of Nelson Guirado**