Comrade Chad

Yes, thank you European slave masters for conquering North America and ravaging the land. As an "Indian" (my girlfriend is 1/4 Guatemalan), I'm indignant that the pale man has the echicuua (Quechua for chutzpah) to eat, this day, the same turkeys denied to the native nations of Tuwa ("America" in Hopi). We all know that the racists you call "pilgrims," who would have died without NT help, tricked the Indians with their white-dark magic, commercialism (NTs had no concept of ownership), fooling them into giving up their superior hunting and farming techniques.

Follow up:

After breaking bread with the so-called Indians, Pilgrims broke their culture and raped their land to stuff their own bellies, a good analogy for their attempt to sate their insatiable greed with the lands of my fore bearers. So, yes, white men, gobble your turkey! Remember, however, the Natives are restless. With the help of Venezuela and China, we shall rise again and reconquer our lands!

I'm drafting the declaration of war with my Native Tuwa literature professor as soon as I get back from vacation.

In closing, thanks for,

Bush, Reagan, Walmart, suspension of habeas corpus, Guantanamo, the Philippines, the Edsel, slavery, Britney Spears, Michael Bolton. overtime, Rush Limbaugh, corporate health care, Castro riots, Jena racism, water-boarding, Pakistan, El Salvador, Chile, the death of Che Guevara, Vietnam, Martha Stewart, the View, Townhall, Microsoft Bob, Vista, and ME, tuition fees, network news, Jim Crow, Jim Swaggart, Jim Baker, Zionism, Christianity, etc.

Chad-