Comrade Chad

Chad here. A shout-out to all the Obama nation- finally! We did it! Truth to power, baby. Hello to all you Asymmetric morons too. I'll go real slow so that your puny neocon brains can comprehend the truth that I'm puttin' down.

This week, Obama unshackled science from Christianist chains by allowing experimentation on fertilized eggs. Obama did draw the line at cloning. "Why not cloning?" you ask.

Well, how about because he's the smartest person in the world and has too much integrity to succumb to Christianist pressures?

Not good enough? Still fighting off the Republican lie machine, I see.

It so happens that the day before the announcement, I held a truth-in with the kids in my social ecology class. Yes, we discussed how corporations didn't want people to get well because health cuts into their drug profits and the Catholic Church gets the biggest tips during funerals, but we also got a little into cloning. Below's the relevant part (you can find the full transcript at wewantstuffandwewantyoutopayforit.com). Of course, we used only logic- no bronze age myths here:

Me: As long as the clone has the same rights as everybody else, cloning is OK. After all, don't clones deserve to love, marry, go to graduate school, and join the military just like anybody else? Besides, the non-original would add diversity to our conformist society.

Todd: But one of the reasons we need clones is for their medical value. If we don't use their parts, what good are they?

Me: Hmmm. Well, let's see. It's only bad to kill things after they're born, right? What if we consider the clone's cloning dock a sort of womb extension? He'd essentially be a large fetus.

Todd: OK. Good, but won't he feel bad that he's a second class citizen, even if he is a fetus. Clones cry.

Me: Yes. That's a terrible feeling. I think if you can lobotomize the clone so that he would have just enough mental functioning to support the organs or keep him in a frozen state so that he's never conscious, cloning's OK. An unconscious or severely mentally damaged person person won't know that he has no rights, like Terry Schivo. He also wouldn't miss an arm or a leg. He therefore wouldn't feel bad. No harm.

Todd: But there's the chance that he wakes up during the freezing process.

Me: I'm stumped.

And, ladies and gentlemen, that's why our president's a genius. He figured out, almost by instinct (and I don't mean anything racial about that), what took a room full of highly educated graduate students one hour to ascertain.