Funnimetric

It would be preposterous to think of cats as generally conservative (Kerry took every cat demographic except Southern Grey Tabbies with more than three litters). In fact, as evidenced by the sparsity of targeted cat advertising by the Republican party, conservatives have all but given up on the cat vote. All except one, that is. Led by Ferdinand of Conservative Cat, a small but motivated group of conservative cats or "catcons," have begun to gain influence within the cat community.

"I grew tired of seeing cats live off the work of others. It used to be that cats were too proud to take charity. Our ancestors would prefer to clear a whole pyramid of mice than take one unearned scrap from 'the Man.' I eventually ran into other cats who felt the same way and we started a group called the Tuesday club. We met for breakfast, discussed the great issues of the day. It was invigorating. Eventually, as our numbers grew, we started the blog and we haven't looked back since."

When asked what are the great issues of the day, Ferdinand didn't hesitate to respond,

"First, we need a strong foreign policy. Our "cut and run" days need to end now. Domestically, we need a new approach to domestication. Too many of our females forego family to enter a comfortable but ultimately empty life of leisure. In some neighborhoods, you can go for weeks without seeing a non-spayed pussycat. And our culture has gone in the kitty litter. I walk down the street and see kittens as young as seven months grooming each other."

Time will tell whether this message will resonate within the cat community and skeptics abound, but don't tell that to Ferdy, "Cats are waking up. I know many fall asleep again five minutes later, but in those five minutes, many cats are realizing that for cats, America can once again be that shining scratching post on the carpet."

Ferdinand has his master hide the Whiskas to show that cats aren't afraid to work.