Funnimetric

Human rights group, Human Rights Right This Minute! today condemned what it calls "inappropriate remarks that borders on racism" during an Al Qaeda beheading. In the video, spread around the world through the internet, English journalist Joe Snuffy appears to be saying, "Islam and Mo... **we refuse to print the rest because of our respect for non-Western religions**"

We hired the best experts available in video editing and lip-reading and our conclusion is that prior to having his super-appendage removed by Iraqi fighters according to their tradition, Mr. Snuffy uttered statements we consider to be inflammatory hate-speech. Such speech not only magnifies the differences between a little-understood, often misunderstood culture and our own, but needlessly inflames delicate sensibilities," said Sarah Fulano, spokesbeing for HRRTM.

Condemnation from capitals throughout Europe proceeded in an expedient manner,

"This is an outrage! We will not have peace in the world as long as people feel free to insult other peoples. This man is an embarrassment to journalists throughout the world," said British foreign secretary Eugene McFulane.

Meanwhile, parliamentarians have called for stricter hate speech laws. One MP introduced a bill requiring children to undergo sensitivity shock therapy. Although still in its experimental stages, the treatments would have children placed in chairs and shown pictures of different peoples around the world engaged in various activities from banking to upper extremity removals. Shocks would be administered until the subject reacts equally to all activities.

"We will do everything possible to make sure that everybody in our nation respects everything in the whole world."

In Tennessee, Al Gore mentioned the incident in a speech before the Committee for Low Ocean Levels (CLOL). "Is it any wonder why people hate the United States and George Bush? When he heats up the rhetorical environment as much as the Earth climate, he builds more than CO2 levels, he builds resentment," he said.

When somebody reminded Gore that the journalist was British he responded, "To them, they are removing Bush's head."