Funnimetric

Dear Spammers,

I appreciate all of the attention, but I don't have time for the friends I have now, and I've known them for years. I feel sad that you're "lonely," but a "nice" girl like you shouldn't have any trouble meeting people. Besides, sometimes you're statements are bafflingly contradictory. You say you're "bored" yet you claim to have a bunch of "fun" friends.

Why don't you find some other friends that are more willing to spend time with you? Sure, they may not be as "hot" as your current associates, but looks aren't everything.

Go join a club or a church group. There's plenty of people you can hang out with there.