Funnimetric

The original ad with Pamela Anderson.

A PETA billboard featuring a naked Rosie O'Donnell urging people to "Try Vegetarian" caused traffic delays and panic as angry motorists left their cars to club stray dogs, cats, and, seemingly, any other living thing available.

Riot police restored calm after a helicopter covered the Sunset Boulevard advertisement. PETA later apologized for the ad:

"Looking back, we should have found bigger leaves."

It will take an overwhelmed animal control department approximately two weeks to clean up the upscale neighborhood. Damage is estimated at $20,000,000, although it's hard to put a price on treasured pets, as Howard Winkle, a retired grocer admits:

"I don't know what came over me. I was driving and I just flew into a rage. I slammed on the brakes, grabbed Mr. Snuffles, and started choking him. I awoke a few minutes later. What have I done? Forgive me, Mr. Snuffles!"

In a related incident, police charged a Korean pet shop owner with unnecessary force for firing upon three men as they broke a window in his store, overturned the clown fish aquarium. and tried to enter the cat cage.

"I understand [the] anger, but they [were] just taking advantage. I think they want [ed] [to] steal [the] golden retriever."

Some dogs refused to go quietly.