Funnimetric

How many of you are tired of the Powerlines, the Daily Kos's and the Huffington Posts taking all of your hits?

At a Town Hall meeting in Waterloo Iowa, Hillary Clinton unveiled a proposal to insure that every American receives at least 5000 hits on their blog:

As you know, I love to listen. If I could, I'd just tour this great land of ours and listen to everybody. Not just hear, either, but real, honest to God, listening. Unfortunately, we've had eight years of non-communication in this country- nobody listening or, if they looked at you, just looking with maybe a head nod here and there. Well, as president, we're all going to listen to each other. I say it's our God given right to be heard!

Right now, only the elite bloggers get heard. They've spread their RSS feeds into every nook and cranny of this great thing we call the internet, sucking up all of the bandwith, while ordinary Americans with their humble Blogger blogs struggle with even the default template, scrimping by with a few cents a month from their adsense. According to independent Alexa, the top one per cent of blogs get 50 per cent of all blog traffic. In a Clinton administration, everybody will have a voice. All bloggers, regardless of topic, template, or platform will get at least 5000 hits!

Follow up:

Pressed for details later an aid explained:

We plan on setting a time, maybe 6:30 after dinner, when an alarm will sound. All Americans will immediately move towards their computers and view five blog posts. In addition, the most privileged blogs will carry a minimum five underrepresented blogs on its blogroll.

Asked about compliance, the spokesperson said:

We'll have compliance measures in place.

When further pressed on whether this plan would extend to Mexican bloggers, the spokesperson for Hillary Clinton said, "Well, that all depends on what you want to hear."

When asked to respond, the Edwards campaign said:

Today, America is two blogospheres and the separation between the have hits and have not hits is widening. Millions of bloggers don't even have their own domain. Well, daddy Edwards didn't raise this boy with a cruel heart. No siree bob! A few hours ago, Hillary Clinton released a plan for America that's an insult to all working bloggers. One that does nothing to fundamentally change the blogosphere.

The Obama campaign had this to say:

OK, pretty audacious, kinds hopeful, but not audacious enough. An Obama presidency will have a much bolder, more audacious plan that represents real change.

Dennis Kucinich:

No blogger is illegal.