Funnimetric

Pressed by reporters during a trade conference in Ottawa, Canada, Chinese trade minister Jin Xu admitted that China intentionally tainted toys in retaliation for Windows Vista, Microsoft's latest operating system.

Speaking in fluent English, Jin said:

"First, I ran the frikin' upgrade adviser and it said everything was OK- I'd have a great experience. After a few upgrade attempts and a couple of calls to the activation department, I finally got it installed, an event which ruined my next three days. I had to upgrade my memory, all of my programs, a bunch of stuff. When it started crashing, I ordered the lead in the dolls."

Jin Xu went on to say that China will temporarily stop producing defective toys pending the results of the Vista patch,

"If I have one more crash after this patch, I'm bringing down a fighter plane."

"Let's see how American kids like 'experienceing' an iron spike-laden slide."