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Keifer Sutherland escapes from prison: Leaves trail of bodies.

01/21/08

jack bauer
Prison Cameras caught this picture of Sutherland's escape.

Although officials are still interviewing the victims, experts have sketched a rough outline of Kiefer Sutherland's daring jail escape:

January 19, 2008

01:00: Keifer Sutherland surfing late night internet. Encounters symbol at the bottom of the web page.

01:30: KS finishes clicking through pop-up ads for spy cameras and selects symbol.

01:45: KS reads about terrorist mastermind Abu Hassan's, plot to kidnap Ron Paul.

02:00: KS volunteers for breakfast detail. Begins collecting necessary materials.

02:30: KS needs whipped cream locked in secondary refrigerator. Beats guard over the head. Tortures him with egg beater and oven mitt. Acquires key.

02:45: Goes back to cell. Creates "the oldest trick in the book."

03:00: Bathroom break. Reads latest O magazine.

03:15: Drinks cocktail. Goes into deep coma.

04:00: Guards see KS passed out in cell and take him to infirmary.

04:30: Morning shift goes on duty. Doctor decides to perform autopsy.

05:00: As doctor approaches body with scalpel, KS awakes and overpowers doctor.

05:15: Dressed as doctor and with his ID card, approaches guard.

05:30: Prison mole picks out KS. Guards attempt to apprehend.

05:40: KS kills four guards with ID card. Turns himself in to spare the life of guard who showed him kindness one day by letting him call Kim.

05:50: Kim Bauer working someplace and doing something nobody cares about.

elisha cithert
Gratuitous Kim Bauer picture.

06:00: KS beaten by guards. Doesn't tell about plot.

06:10: Audrey Raines, in disguise, gives KS PDA hidden in bra. KS allowed to rest

06:15: KS calls Chloe.

Chloe

07:00: Despite her reluctance to break "protocols," Chloe opens all cells by remote control.

07:05: In the Chaos, KS escapes.

07:10: Before he walks out, dislocates shoulder "just for the hell of it."

08:10: Breakfast at Glendale Burger King. Posing as undocumented Serbian, asks for job .

09:40: Customer insists he didn't ask for pickles, wanted it "his way." Berates elderly worker.

09:41: KS overhears, asks the man, "what sauce would you like?" Breaks man's fingers off. Places them in Bar B Que sauce.

10:00 KS complains about hostile working conditions- threatens to call OSHA.

10:10 KS leaves employ with enough money for plane fare to Florida.

11:00 KS arrives at airport. Spots government agents. Hides in landing gear.

11:10-17:00 Travel time. Something about Kim. Chloe is caught and forced to explain. Gets lecture: "That's the 14th time you've done this. The next time, I'll have to warn you again."

17:01: Arrives frozen at airport. Recovers with hot coffee. Heads to campaign headquarters.

17:10: Goes to abandoned house. Makes a couple of calls.

17:11: James Heller, Milo Pressman, Martha Logan, Nina Myers, and Bill Buchanan arrive.

logan
Charles and Martha Logan. Doesn't he remind you of Huckabee?

17:15: KS recruits disaffected Burger King workers.

Image from Amazon
The Burger King: Jim McLamore and the Building of an Empire by James W. McLamore

17:50: Plan set in motion.

18:00: KS assaults Ron Paul headquarters. Half of Paul supporters intervene with the other half not wanting to get involved.

18:15: Gun battle leaves scores dead. Paul taken to safe house. Neighbors don't notice anything- go about their daily lives.

20:00: After almost two hours, KS tells Paul to be quiet, "who cares about the Council of Foreign whatever?"

20:01: CFR mercenaries crash through door, abduct KS. Ron Paul escapes through tunnel.

Image from Amazon
The Shadows of Power: The Council on Foreign Relations and the American Decline by James Perloff

20:10: KS discovers that Abu Hassan works for CFR.

20:20: KS bites Abu's belt. Strangles Abu.

20:30-23:59: Full House marathon on Nick at Nite.

Image from Amazon
Full House - The Complete Seventh Season

January 21, 2008

00:00 Out of Cheetoes. Goes to vending machine.

00:10: Abducted by Cuban spies.

00:59: Overpowers Cuban spies with slippers. Dives into ocean.

By nguirado ( Email ), 02:15:28 pm, 582 words
PermalinkCategories: Just comiendo m... :: 1 comment »

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1 comment

Keifer Sutherland is absolutely great, I've learned so many from the tv show 24, really now, there are many clues that everyone of us should see at least after watching the movie if not after getting trained at CTU. And by the way, Kim looks great in that picture! I only like here in the first season with the hair a little curly, she looked very childish, but still, nice.
07/18/08 @ 01:50

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