Funnimetric

Dennis Kucinich leaves the Mos Eisley Cantina where he spoke with disaffected space haulers.

New pictures from the Mars Spirit Rover give irrefutable evidence that Dennis Kucinich is still campaigning.

Political Pundit dick Morris explains the new strategy:

Having conceded the religious Ori planets to Obama and the Amazonian planet, Mejere, to Clinton, the Kucinich camp thinks that its only chance is to reconnect with its base, blue-collar aliens and graduate students here on Earth. This is a smart strategy. Frankly, with the fall of the Empire, the defeat of the Goa'uld, and the move by the Klingons towards a free-market system, lots of Martians are anxious about their future; their income has stagnated since the drying up of the canals-they've had to import most of their water from the ice planet Hoth- and they're feeling the pinch.

If he can do that and make inroads amongst other planets' inhabitants who feel left behind by the Federation's Galaxist policies, many of whom identify with Edwards' populism, he has a chance.

Now, the fact that the Democratic party punished the Andromeda galaxy for moving up their primary doesn't work in his favor, but there's still trillions of sentients here in the Milky Way. Let's see if he has the money for a big media buy in the Gamma Quadrant.

Kucinich is doing better amongst graduate students. They really have no place else to go for completely non-realistic policies that appall incoming freshmen from mid-western states.

Kucinich also draws a lot of support from peace activists who feel that we're just stirring up more Wraith hives and want to leave Wraith territory.

In related news, Hillary Clinton offended billions of Ewoks by saying that "it took a Jedi to defeat the Empire."

Bill Clinton replied to the criticism by saying that, as a young attorney, Obama defended Jabba the Hut from corruption charges.

The back and forth continued when the Obama camp pointed out that Bill Clinton pardoned Jabba at the end of his term and that Hillary Clinton made millions by investing in Nerf futures and purchasing what many consider slum apartments on Tatooine.