Funnimetric

Tensions remain high at college campuses as candidates compete for endorsements:

Asymmetric correspondent John Fulano, explains the situation:

It was easy at the beginning: The Chicano studies department endorsed Richardson; the women's study department went for Hillary; and the black studies department, after failing to draft Bill Clinton, settled on Barack Obama. The gay studies department threw their weight behind Jonathan Edwards.

With Edwards almost out of the race, the gay studies department reconsidered their first choice. Hillary courted the gay community with her suggestive selection of pants suits, but the gay studies department finally settled on Obama. The Clinton campaign remains bitter over the decision, accusing the Obama campaign of playing dirty pool by releasing the picture below as the gay studies department went into deliberation.

Edwards tried to make up for the loss by gaining the support of the Chicanos,

"Now, when black men become extinct, you guys'll be in the drivers' seat- at least in an Edwards administration. After that, it's just white men and their drug companies and you guys are home free."

Hillary Clinton struck back by coming out with her own version of Tancredo's quinceanera savings proposal. Instead of allowing parents to put away money for quinceaneras, tax free, for fifteen years, the Clinton proposal gives every Hispanic family $5000.00 per girl (self-identified) and expert courses on smart dress shopping to fight "the forces who prey on the love Hispanics have for their daughters."

Once constituency none of the top candidates will get is the Association of graduate Schools for Social Justice (ASSJ). With their first choice, Kucinich, out of the race, they've shifted support to Mike Gravel.