Funnimetric

Crowd congratulated Obama for healing a woman of leprosy.

Barack Obama released his much anticipated health care plan today. In one of the provisions, Obama promised to reduce medical costs by personally conducting faith healings every Saturday before his afternoon jog. Below is a transcript of Obama discussing the proposal at a rally in sold out Lambeau Field:

Obama: Some people are hurting. Some people can't see a doctor or the doctor says that he can't cure that person. I say, 'come to Obama. Obama will heal you.' You will walk, dance out of that stadium. Can Hillary heal the sick? Can the broken politics of the past cleanse your sickness?

Crowd: No.

Obama: Can Obama?

Crowd: Yes, he can!

Obama: That's hope

Woman in crowd: Obama! Help me!

Obama: Come up here. What's your name?

Woman: (crawling) [inaudible]

Obama: Never mind; Pow!

Woman: (Dancing)

Obama: See, that's just a taste of what Obamacare can do for you. You want some more, go to the polls. Wait (silent). Some of you are planning to vote for Hillary. I can feel it. I'm not mad. I have hope that you will see the light. I'm turning around. When I come back...

Crowd: Don't turn aro...(gasp)

Obama: (turning twice)

Man: (weeping) Obama, I'm sorry I doubted you.

Obama: That's OK. Nobody says Obama doesn't forgive...will say that Obama doesn't (pointing at crowd) what?

Crowd: Hope! Hope! Hope!

Obama: Yes. Come next January, you better get ready for some healing!

Obama chastises man for not hoping.

Man cured after touching the hem of Obama's coat.