Funnimetric

My friend will soon be amongst the childed, as Mrs. Chris is scheduled to give birth in July. Now, I know he's having a baby shower this weekend, but I can't seem to find the address he gave me, "1313 Mockingbird Lane," in Mapquest (Comprehensive database: Ha!).

It would be a shame for them to miss out on my gift. Whereas everybody else is giving some lame-o tchochke from Target, I took the time to burn Chris the first sixty of my one-hour lectures collectively entitled "Meditations on Child Rearing" (Hour one: "You're in my house now! What to do on the first day from the hospital."**). It may be too late in her pregnancy to receive the full benefits from the cd, but research has shown that the sound of my voice makes babies smarter and more hardy- at least two points in each ability score- and some have reached "18."

Anyways, Chris, I'll try Google tonight to see if I can find it.

**Subsequent hours:
2. "Pacify this!"
3. "First break down, then build."
4. "'My father walked six miles to pre-school and you're crying because...,' the all-purpose comeback."
5. "Building character through humiliation."
6. "You'll get my unconditional love when I see some results."
etc., etc.