Funnimetric

Some people didn't know what to make of Barack Obama's new 447 billion dollar civilian defense force: "I'm as down with change as the next guy, but I don't know if this is a good idea," they faithlessly wondered (As if Barack would have a bad one.). Voices of the past and McBushies were even more doubtful, "Don't we already have an army?" Those of a more hopeful disposition were excited: We...I mean... they might not know the details, but they knew that it would change the country for the better.

Well, America need not speculate any longer. Barack Obama has released tape of a pilot program in Mississippi. Doubters, including some civil libertarians, will be relieved to know that all Barack wanted to do is look after us.

"In the prairies of Tupelo and the fjords of Arizona; in the mountains of Nebraska and the jungles of Utah (crowd member screaming)- yeah! give me some of that jazz. I love you too- and all across our wonderful 57 states, people have been telling me the same thing: 'Senator Obama, save us from ourselves, heal us, take care of us.' As our Spanish friends here in Miami like to say, vete pa'l carajo. Well, you're dreams and hopes have arrived: I unveil the Obamacorps, an elite counter-bitterness unit that will patrol day and night to make sure you're living up to the great opportunities I've given you. Check this out:"