Funnimetric

1. After failing to get the expected bounce, Barack Obama plans to make major television advertisement buys in Germany. Obama has seen his lead slip to 70-30 over McCain in East Germany (He angered many former Communists with his flip-flops.) while running even with McCain in Germany's Catholic areas.

"We need to get our message out. We're going to saturate the close states like Bavaria and have some burg-hall meetings to get to know the common volk."

2. Barack Obama apologized to a Berliner after the German asked if he could, "bitte have his autograph."

Obama replied with:

"Man, I thought I explained: I don't look down on the religious and gun owners. I just meant that they're bitter because of George Bush. I'm not an elitist."

3. When asked why Obama didn't speak German, he replied, "I could learn a language in like two weeks. I just don't feel like it."

4. Barack Obama blamed the Berlin wall on a lack of community organizing in the eastern part of the city: "We studied it in organizing school. It was way too disorganized. I don't blame people for wanting to jump the wall."