Funnimetric

After two days of relative calm on Friday and Saturday, the Comic Con convention in San Diego exploded in violence on Sunday after what seemed a personal dispute spilled over into the crowd.

Surveillance cameras captured the flash point: A man dressed in a Batman costume (Dark Knight #3 sans-cape, but with full utility belt) invited a young Jubilee-clad girl to his "batcave." The proposition didn't sit well with her boyfriend who arrived at the convention as a semi-transformed Bruce Banner, and a scuffle ensued. The audible portion of the tape is presented below:

"What do you want, DC punk," the boyfriend was overheard saying. "Why don't you go and fight for Truth and Justice, boy scout."

"That's Superman, dickweed. Batman is DARK! He's not for little kids anymore. Even Superman, with the release of Birthright is way deeper. Superman must battle himself and he advocates veganism." Besides, in your semi-transformed state, you can do me no harm.

"I'm getting angrier."

The crowd, having overheard the scuffle, began choosing sides and the disturbances commenced, dissipating the uneasy calm. Participants began fighting those with whom, after days of negotiation, they had put aside their differences to "revel as brothers and sisters regardless of origin or state of mutancy."

"All Hell broke loose. It was like a scene from Hulk #451. Everybody just started fighting. I can't believe this. I wanted to use my powers for good, not to fight my fellow comic book enthusiasts," said Gordon Fulanovich (AKA Clear Arrow), a plastic cover vendor.

With Marvel on one side and DC in the other, most of the alternative comic-book fans stayed on the sidelines and laughed. Some, however, like those from Fantagraphic Books, actually cheered them on, "Once we get those losers out of the way, we can get the recognition we deserve," said Love and Rockets devotee, Brad Johnson.

Music for Mechanics (Complete Love and Rockets, Book1) Vol. 1 by Jaime Hernandez, Gilbert Hernandez

Others, like Phillip Brown, outfitted as The Escapist, chose sides, "During my late twenties, as an immature reader of graphical prose, I would often read some of Marvel's offerings. I can't sit by and not do anything. Today, I assist the Marvel Multiverse."

Hell's Gate (BOOK 1 in new MULTIVERSE series) (Multiverse) by David Weber, Linda Evans

As none of the rioters had any real powers, the only people who inflicted considerable harm were some of the strength-based characters known as bricks. Timberwolf was particularly damaging, defeating both the Thing and Sabretooth before being subdued by police.

Juggernaught hurt himself running into a wall and the Human Torch burned down part of the Comics in Culture art display. Characters like Magneto and Marvel Girl left the brawl early, their tactics being decidedly ineffective.

Riot police quickly brought order to the event after Storm failed to deflect the tear gas employed by San Diego SWAT.

Citing their past community service, the police dropped most charges except for Thor, who was booked on misdemeanor weapons possession.

In future Comic Cons, Marvel fans will be separated from their DC rivals

CNN here and here.