Funnimetric

In a move designed to protect people from being tricked into purchasing homes and other big ticket items like flat screen televisions, chrome wheels, "rust protection," traffic alerts on their GPS, and insurance on DVD players, Barack Obama has tasked ACORN, an organization with which he's not affiliated, to pass out "predatory lending" whistles to "at risk" people, so designated by their inability to deal with slick hucksters. Most of these people support Barack Obama, according to many surveys, so some view it as a way to reward a core constituency, the irresponsible.

Whenever a consumer (good) feels threatened by a financial institution representative (bad), he will blow in the whistle (classes provided by unioned, credentialed teachers) and emit an ear-splitting sound to discourage the potential lending predation. The whistle will also send a distress signal over cellular, provided for free by many of Barack Obama's supporters in the telecommunications industry, to community organizers within a 10 block area. The ACORN rapid response team will be part of Obama's community investments in his first term.