| « Congress approves Cash for Caharros programs to increase Latino participation | Communist Zombie Stalin versus Martian game, commercial, and Russian women » |
What's up with the dachshund?
08/04/09
I was at my friends house playing the nearly incomprehensible Arkham Horror when an equally perplexing thought occurred to me: Why do dachshunds exist? It wasn't a completely random thought; two of these "dogs" wandering underneath (way underneath) the table prompted the question. I didn't mean it in the Cartesian, philosophical sense- I was staring right at them and didn't doubt their real presence. It wasn't a redirection of my frustration at Arkham Horror. I didn't hate the dogs themselves. In fact, I can honestly say that I pitied them. The owner of the dogs wasn't being a bad host- he's a nice guy with a fabulous collection of beers (Mexican beats Irish beer, I think). I just don't know for the life of me why these beasts walk, nearly crawl, on the face of this earth.
Think about it: Some German dude scoured the forests of Central Europe for the smallest-legged dogs he could find and did everything he could to shorten them further, "No, I can still see the legs. Get me a shorter dog!" He kept going until he came up with what is, essentially, a millipede with teeth and ears.
Honestly, how long would such a creature live out in the wild? 12 minutes? They're probably as frightened of a 12 Monkeys scenario as humans. The only thing it'd be able to catch is an older Dachshund. Noah would prioritize dachshunds between hamsters and ticks.
What job would you assign a dachshund? Dobermans can guard a house. Retrievers get stuff for you. Pointers help you find things. Chihuahuas are good corporate spokescreatures. Dachshunds can only bring its owner the sympathy of people with real pets.
Stephen Hawking's smart. Do Dachshunds make up for their physical shortcoming with an advanced doggy intellect? Not that I noticed. Same sniff, eat, sleep routine as other dogs.
Thanks for the opportunity to vent. I'm studying the Arkham Horror rule book and sandwiching these brief diversions between my eight-hour study blocks helps me keep my sanity.
Arkham Horror: Kingsport Horror
4 comments
Dachshunds actually originated as fierce hunters. Their name is derived from the German Dachs for Badger and Hund for Dog. Their small stature enabled them to get into tight places and their fearlessness, focus and verocity allowed them to be a formidable component for the badger. Their job wasn't to be a retriever, but to be a killer. These traits can still be seen today if you have ever witnessed a dachshund spy a rodent. They are known for getting so in the zone to kill the prey that they will dig a 3 ft hole under a fence or house and bite anyone that gets in their way. It is best to find a way to redirect them from a distance. Grabbing them when they are fixated can result in stitches.
So, do not pity the dog. Given enough step stools... dachshunds might rule the world soon enough.
The dog is really cute 
However there are different reasons why we are different from some of our direct competitors who are also liberal arts colleges 
However there are different reasons why we are whattt ?? :D
Recently (30/01/10) admin wrote Evden eve fiyatlar? at evden eve's web. Check it out!
Comment feed for this post
