Funnimetric

Superbowl 44 was quite pleasant. Not too many penalties or turnovers. A bold onside kick, which proved to be the momentum changer. Drew Brees gave a steady, Joe Montana-like performance.

The ads were sub-par. They weren't as funny as those in previous years. Megan Fox brought the sexiness factor to 0 all by herself after it plunged into negative territory with Betty White and dudes in their underwear.

She obviously wanted to disprove the ugly thumb rumors.

Instead of going through each one and rating them, as I did last year, I thought I'd just sit down and write about the ones I remember. I'd recall the best, worst, and most effective ones, right?

The Betty White ad was probably the worst, followed by the Super Bowl shuffle ad reprise, Kiss, and every Dorito commercial except the one with the bark collar:

Many other bad ones that left no impact.

The Tim Tebow ad successfully made NOW and Planned Parenthood look silly for opposing a very innocent ad that really said nothing. It merely invited people to learn more about pro-life issues at the Focus on the Family website. So, a big score for the forces of life.

As for social trends, the quiet (lest our wives hear) backlash against feminism was present, again. Remember last year when guys hurt themselves and said, "I'm good," and the Heineken beer closet commercials? Whereas last year's guy ads celebrated mens' goofiness; this year, men were urged to "wear the pants":

Even if this doesn't lead to real change in the dynamics of opposite-sex relationships, it's at least a recognition of a feeling that perhaps things aren't quite right.

Dodge, the dinosaur car company, celebrated the responsible male's life:

Dove, of all companies, released a paean to the good guy, bravo male:

There was another one, but I don't remember it.

The ad that has liberal control freaks up in arms is Audi Green Police. It taps into the growing sentiment that perhaps greeniness isn't motivated by a desire to address a real problem so much as by that old-fashioned drive to control human behavior, Liberal Fascism-style. This is the beginning of the end for the ideological environmental movement, my friends.

What's odd is that Audi mocks its customer base. Or, it isn't that Audi makes fun of extremist greens and them urges people to buy an 8-cylinder guzzler; they're selling a diesel car. Weird.

Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning by Jonah Goldberg

The Denny's chicken alert ad lacked social value, except for PETA, perhaps, but is the one that made me laugh the most.

LGZV (Lich, Ghoul, Zombie, Vampire) community leaders praised Obama's mention of the corpsed community. unSpokesman Keith Richards said that the acknowledgment was long past due, "some people don't even know we're alive...err...that we're here."

Richards also welcomed the decision to let the undead serve openly in the military, "The undead are amongst the best soldiers in the military today. Some of us won't stop attacking until our heads are blown off. We're essential in night ops. Vampires make great medics, under proper supervision. Werewolves only need a little special accommodation, and just one day a month." Richards went on to say that the next step is to modernize the chaplain corps, "We'd need some sound-proofed rooms. The howling gets a little intense at times."

...that "sometimes when you lose an arm, another sense takes over."

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