Funnimetric

Obama mocks a Paladin of Ilmater at a Pennsylvania gathering.

Barack Obama drew the ire of gamers across Pennsylvania for making the following comments before the Scranton PS3 club:

"Look, you got these guys- umm- they don't have a lot of social interaction- nobody likes them- and they're feeling the pinch from competing role-playing games like the Hero system and even electronic, console-based PS-3- so they're bitter. They cling to their dice- their pencil and paper-based Dungeon and Dragons- probably still using the 2nd edition rules, mind you- I was asking some of my independent graphic prose supporters- 'Can you imagine them telling each other that they want to lower their armor class [laughter]?' ... watching the world pass them by. So it's no wonder that they feel antipathy to people who play Tunnels and Trolls, X-Box, computer games, and Minis- people who weren't there at the beginning. And when a black guy like me comes along, well-umm- they just remember how uncool they are [laughter]."

Role-players- incensed at Obama's caricature of them as uncool, throw their support behind Hillary Clinton. "This is a guy who still thinks that Tunnels and Trolls is a viable system."

Asked about the controversy, Hillary Clinton responded with:

"This shows how little Obama respects the people who made Final Fantasy and Elder Scrolls possible. They don't play Dungeons and Dragons because they don't have anything to do on Saturdays or because they're mired in the past- they love their traditions- and are proud of them.

I remember my own experience in the early eighties, watching VHS's of Conan the Barbarian, drinking Pepsi and trying to get the best rolls for my female Orc- I always went for the misunderstood races- thief-illusionist. It was fun. I wasn't 'clinging' to anything. When I'm in office, I plan to have a secretary of role-playing and fantasy. I'll bail out Wizards of the Coast- give gamers the opportunity to do some "green gaming" under fluorescent lights with recycled maps. Have midnight D and D in the inner city- get kids involved in this important American tradition.

Obama's elitist, out-of-touch attitude reminds me of what one of my heroes, Gary Gygax once said, 'Shut up and roll.' It's time for Obama to stop the rhetoric and propose something that helps struggling gamers."

Recent polling suggests that Obama's comments hurt him among single white men in their forties, a demographic that previously wrote in for Rutger Hauer.