Funnimetric

Klingon Worlds are aflame today as Klingons react to Rep. David Wu's inference that Klingons are warlike and unreasonable. The state department has issued a warning to Americans on the Klingon planet of Klinzhai to return home or stay indoors for fear of Klingon mobs.

Klingon representative Lord Katai Ka’Min informed Condoleeza Rice that the Klingon empire will file a formal complaint tomorrow. "Rep. Wu's statement is unacceptable. My government will not stand for it."

Wu's statement has created a strong reaction here in the United States as well, with many seeing Wu's words as an indication that anti-Klingon feelings still exist here on Earth.

Berkley professor Dr. Sawyer, an expert on specism explained how Wu's statement was a throwback to Federation War I when the government encouraged anti-Klingon propaganda to build support for the war and motivate human soldiers. "The traditional view of the Klingon is that of a barely intelligible war-worshiping barbarian," said Dr. Sawyer. "Hollywood, for example, collaborated with the government to create the image of the bloodthirsty Klingon," Dr. Sawyer continued, "and for many years, until positive portrayals like that of LT Dorf became more common, the only thing humans saw Klingons do on screen was kill." Dr. Sawyer also pointed out that many of the Klingons in human movies weren't even Klingons, but humans dressed as Klingons, "People look at Christopher Lloyd now and laugh, but that's the way it was."

Meanwhile, the president of the Vulcan Student Association at UCLA issued the following statement:

"The Vulcan Student Association is stunned by the illogic of Rep. Wu's remarks. His hateful and ignorant address not only insulted Klingons but perpetuated the stereotype of Vulcans as nerds and model aliens. We want Wu to know that both Klingons and Vulcans are diverse races."

Afterwards, a Vulcan student commented off the record that Wu might make Klingons mad and that "you know how Klingons get when they're mad."

Klingons have made impressive achievements in the academic world.

French-Klingon youth, upset at Wu's remarks, says he'd rather destroy Paris than be treated like a second-class citizen. The French are planning another march of reconciliation if Klingons make good on their promise to burn down the city.

Rep. Wu remarks