Funnimetric

Dear Sci-Fi apologist,

I've been watching the Star Wars marathon on the men's TV station, Spike. What accounts for the poor quality of the holograms in the Star Wars movies?

Sincerely,

Star Wars fan.

Dear Star Wars fan,

First of all, only men under 30 or the perpetually juvenile watch Spike. Mature men watch the History Channel. Now, on to your question: At first, considering the vast distances involved, I thought it was a simple case of transmission interference, but then I noticed that even in local projections such as ones from the Jedi security archives and princess Leia's famous plea for help (below), the holograms were of poor quality.

Notice the lack of color and abundant artifacts.

After a little research, I discovered that long ago, hologram projectors for the entire Republic were outsourced to a small company on the slave planet of Tatooine, Invictatech. Early Invictatech hologram projectors suffered from a firmware bug that greatly degraded quality. Although IT directors across the universe worked hard to resolve the problem, during the events in question, many projectors still weren't patched.

The hologram game on the Millennium Falcon didn't suffer from the problem because Han Solo had decided to go with Macs.

Notice the higher quality.