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Huckabee promises to rid South Carolina of City Slickers
01/18/08
In a speech today before the Beaufort County, South Carolina Republicans, presidential candidate Mike Huckabee promised to round up all "city slickers" and "painted up harlots" and send them back to "New York City."
Other Huckabee initiatives announced in the speech:
1. Rename the United States "Big Carolina."
2. Make keg softball an Olympic sport.
3. Make Confederate flags tax deductible.
4. Establish a tax free savings plan that families can use to buy gas-fired Bar B Que grills.
5. Increase exploration for propane.
6. Subsidies for spitahol, a fuel blend of gasoline, saliva, and chewing tobacco.
7. Promise never to mention his weight loss again.
8. Only play Merle Haggard songs on the guitar.
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1 comment
Hmmm, I see no mention of a couple of initiatives, including "Generating acceptance for appliances as Lawn ornaments"
"Subsidies for SPAM"
"Higher tariffs on hurricanes, tornadoes, and ill-will weather events"
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