Funnimetric

This year's model promises to be deadlier than ever. Can innocent Dems withstand its force?

As part of cabal, Asymmetric photographers were given access to this year's Republican attack machine. In addition to the upgraded distortion ray and smear cannon, the new model will feature an experimental "race-baiter." "Scapegoater," "fear mongerer" and the deadly "wedge" remain unchanged from 2004.

As per its target:

As soon as the Democratic nominee is selected, the entire force of the GOP attack machine will bear down on that nominee. This attack machine has been built and honed over decades; it is formidable, and employs all forms of media, from talk radio to major newspaper columns to television, email, blogs, websites, direct mail, and extensive ground networks.