Funnimetric

Question: Why is this sexy? (answer below)

I understand the desire of women to feel as though they can control their amount of sexiness, but I feel it's my responsibility to break the news to my distaff audience: You turn us on plenty and there's very little you can do to increase (although there's a lot you can do to decrease) our desire for you. Let's look at the advice in this article:

1. Be mysterious: (Get lost sometimes): This may make him more jealous, I suppose. If you want to play that way, go ahead.

2. Woo him with food: ("Paint the canvas," says Nigella -- flowers on the table, a pot boiling on the stove, and you the seductress in the middle of it all. Dig in yourself, she advises. Show him you're a woman of voluptuous appetites.") This might work, but any allure would come from watching the woman perform the feminine task. If it were the food, men would have bought posters of Julia Child instead of Farrah Fawcett.

3. Pamelize him: ("she focused in and hung breathless on his every word. Give it a whirl.
Ask him how he got so smart, so handsome, so strong. Then actively listen to his answer instead of interrupting with your own."). Don't make it obvious, OK.

4. Channel Marilyn Monroe: ("Anything that looks like it might come undone unexpectedly will work.") Yes, but again, Marilyn was sexy because she was (played) innocent; she wasn't aware of the effect she had on men.

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