Funnimetric

A pilot program in Barack Obama's back yard. has had positive emission results, according to Barack Obama.

Citing the wild success of CAFE standards for automobiles, presidential candidate Barack Obama and the Democratic party have drawn up plans to limit the size of American homes. According to the proposal, Americans will be limited to a maximum of 250 square feet per person:

"A smaller house means less heating and cooling costs, less building materials, especially wood that, in their tree form, recycles the greenhouse emissions that cause global warming and concrete that comes from our precious rocks. Smaller houses means less encroachment of ancient native-American burial grounds. Working together, we can impose these and other important regulations.

Pioneers in California have already made progress by eliminating vestiges of our polluting past. They've ended such environmental mini-holocausts as wood-burning fire places, lawnmowers, selfish comfortableness, and light bulbs."

Other proposals include building only duplex housing with one of the units going to somebody from the "working class" (incomes from $0 to $80,000)and the other unit going to a "non-worker" (income of $80,000 per year and above.).

"America has become a nation of haves and have-nots. By living together, we can foster understanding and reconciliation: Black and white, clean and dirty, Jew and gentile, polluter and non-profit employee, corporate raider and community organizer. It'll be just like college when me, a poor son of an African father and single mom was able to express his rage at the system to sympathetic sons and daughters of millionaires. Let's live next to each other in one giant purple paradise! Yes we can!"

Obama, doing what he does best: bringing out the best in us.

According to policy insiders, common sense exceptions will be made for Hollywood actors, former vice-presidents (and former vice-presidential candidates).

Anticipating criticism from the Republican attack machine, Obama concluded, "Thinking that Americans can make their own decisions about housing and lighting fixtures is the same Bush-McCain thinking that got us in this mess in the first place."