Asymmetric Music

Eric Olsen of MSNBC chose these bands as the greatest of all time:

1. The Beatles
2. The Rolling Stones
3. U2
4. The Grateful Dead
5. Velvet Underground
6. Led Zeppelin
7. Ramones
8. Pink Floyd
9. Bob Marley and the Wailers
10. Sly and the Family Stone

Any list is bound to upset some Rock fans- count me as one of the upset ones.

If we limit Rock to sixties-and-later FM-style Classic, mostly White, Rock, then the first three, 6, maybe 8 and perhaps 10 make sense. But The Grateful Dead? They're a cover band! What are their top three songs? Hummable, mind numbing nothings, that's what. TGD only make sense if you use, as a criteria, sheer volume of unheard-by-anybody-but-stoners guitar doodlings.

The Velvet Underground? Two albums filled with the musical equivalent of the ugly, childish paintings you find at hip art museums.

Marley and Sly are defensible picks if one excludes non-Classic acts like James Brown. Over the Who and Hendrix, however?

The Ramones have more than one song?

When one reads the reasons Eric Olsen gives for his picks, one realizes that he's not at all being "subjective," as he claims. Instead, Olsen quite objectively uses extra-musical criteria such as social and political impact, later influence, and the inclusion of various sub (to Classic) Rock genres.

For example:

The Vietnam War was the perfect polarizer between youth and adult culture: it had no clear objective, it was far away, it cost many lives, and it was involuntary — the old made the decisions, the young died. After the war was mercifully killed in the mid-'70s, the nation came to realize that it had hated the internal confusion more than it had hated the external enemy — blood is thicker than ideology.

As a result, both sides of the internal conflict embraced the perceived highlights of the other’s culture: adults lightened up — Johnny Carson grew his hair long and joked with the band about smoking pot — and the youth embraced the acquisitive materialism of their parents with the shamelessness of Midas.

The Dead became the symbol of this blending of ideologies until Jerry Garcia’s death in 1995: a well-oiled money making machine ($50 million a year in concert revenue) that sold peace, love and understanding to a legion of internally divided admirers. The Dead sold out every show because a Dead show was a socially acceptable place to temporarily take a break from the rat race and try on '60s hippie values without having to live them. People who didn’t do drugs any other time indulged and danced around like pixies to the Dead and their light, rhythmic, pleasant, sometimes inspired, extended musical journeys.

Ahem.

My list of best Classic Rock, non-Soul, acts:

Follow up:

1. The Beatles

In Rock-popular music after 1960, I tend to be an R&B guy. That, and my dad hated hippies so I've never really been a Beatles fan. I'm not so prejudiced, however, that I can't objectively recognize the Beatles' greatness.

Three remarkable things about the Beatles: That everybody who has consciously imitated them has left little of worth; that two of the best singers and songwriters in British history happened to grow up in the same town at the same time; and that almost everybody- from bubblegum poppers to hard core rockers- loves at least one Beatles song. My favorite, as of today, is "Ticket to Ride." One exception to the Beatles glorification is that I find the White Album to be mostly boring.

The Beatles Anthology

2. The Rolling Stones

The Stones are both consistently roots-based and tremendously creative. "Paint it Black" came from where?

Hot Rocks 1964-1971 [DSD Remastered]

3. Led Zeppelin

As far as you can take Blues and it still sound good. The Heavy Metal that followed took Blues in shadier directions.

Complete Studio Recordings

4. Who

"My Generation" could be the greatest Rock song of all time.

The Who: The Ultimate Collection

5. Jimi Hendrix

Like Led Zeppelin in his stretching of Blues.

Experience Hendrix: The Best of Jimi Hendrix

6. U2

Not my cup of Irish Coffee, but a great band.

U2 Deluxe Edition Box Set [Amazon.com Exclusive]

7. Fleetwood Mac

The Very Best Of Fleetwood Mac (2CD)

8. Eric Clapton and friends

Cream, etc.

Complete Clapton

9. Bruce Springsteen

Up until the nineties, when he became much too wordy and unmusical.

The Essential Bruce Springsteen

10. Credence Clearwater Revival

They have something Pink Floyd doesn't- good songs.

The Long Road Home: The Ultimate John Fogerty/Creedence Collection by Creedence Clearwater Revival