Asymmetric Music

Crime against humanity.

I love coffee. My first-ever drink from a cup was coffee. I drank cafe on leche every morning (how's that for parenting?)

After eating, I always ask for a coffee to go. It keeps me busy in between texting and browsing the internet while I'm driving (just kidding- very dangerous- don't do it).

Anyways, about half the restaurants don't have the kind of lid that you can keep on as you sip your coffee. I really dislike having to take out my Leatherman to open a slit in the plastic containers designed for soda.

This rule doesn't discriminate, from the most expensive restaurants to the mom and pop meat loaf dives, it's always 50%. Considering that many people probably finish their meal with coffee and a large percentage of them probably like to do as I do, and that coffee lids are available at Sam's Club or Costco for about 40 cents a ton; there's really no excuse not to have them. Please, coffee addicts, forward this post to your favorite restaurant:

Restaurants: Do this for us. Please. It's a small thing that brings many of your customers great joy.

Anyways, I decided to do a search through my massive mp3 collection for coffee songs. Here's what I came up with:

First, always, when possible, is Bach. His Coffee Cantata- BWV 211 is one of his best. I don't know German, but I'd probably laugh if I could understand it, as the lyrics are one of those wonderful Enlightenment topics, the silly peccadilloes of the modern and wealthy (Rape of the Lock by Bach's contemporary, Alexander Pope, is another one). Here, a young girl is addicted to coffee. I like to watch Classical performances, don't you?

The next song is by Otis Redding who alternates with Sam Cooke, Al Green, and maybe one or two others as my favorite Soul singer and is one of my favorite singers of any genre. He lays down his naturally gruff, yet expressive and melismatic voice to the service of "Cigarettes and Coffee." Otis Redding passed away (RIP) before health studies. It's the podcast.

This one was tough. Both the Andrew Sisters and Frank Sinatra sang what is probably the greatest musical indictment of nations relying on one resource for its income, "The Coffee Song." Addendum: First Bach, then Frank.

Probably the greatest R&B compilation is the 15-disc set, The Chess Story. It has the Muddy, Chuck, Bo, and Willie you're all familiar with plus some of the most marvelous music you've never heard, like this song from a Mr. Danny Overbea, "Forty Cups of Coffee."

The Putumayo collections are hit or miss. Many of the songs are middling, if unusual and fresh, but the collections often have one or two songs that make their purchases worthwhile. Such is "Soltarlo" by Claudia Gomez, recompiled by Putumayo on Music from the Coffee Lands.

I'll do Caribbean/Cuban cafe songs tomorrow.

Most of the Veterans Day tributes on youtube have music that I don't like as much as the standards or oldies. The new ones seem a little melodramatic. Vaughn Monroe sings "Old Soldiers Never Die" here. He takes service in stride, as part of a man's nature, not as some extraordinary feat. That's probably because service was more universal back then and people had more of a sense of duty. Countries, too, saw war as part of the human experience, to be avoided, sure, but not unthinkable.

Vaughn Monroe had other male classics in "Sound Off" and the truly great "Ghost Riders in the Sky."

"Sound Off"

"Ghost Riders in the Sky"

A version by Johnny Cash is the podcast.

Like Percy Sledge sings in the podcast, men will give up their money, job, and the respect of their children and the community to surrender to their lust. Mel Gibson, a man I formerly admired for his counter-cultural bravery, is the latest to fall into this trap. He either gave up his most deeply held Catholic beliefs or is seriously lying to himself. Do his kids take him seriously now that he's just another aging star with a hot chick half his age?

Before him, we had Mark Sanford's shameful display, Eliot Spitzer's foray into into the mutual degradation of prostitution, and countless other examples.

How much damage have a few priests caused the institution they dedicated their life to? Why did Michael Jackson risk going to jail for his attachment to boys? Really, could there be a scarier thought for Michael than being in jail. He'd last as long as a carton of Marlboros.

Besides direct harm, there's a harm of omission. Harnessing sexual energy and focusing it on either your spouse or another, productive activity is one of the bases of civilization. It's the reason we have bridges instead of endless hula huts and went to the moon instead of just the hot spring next to the river. Imagine if Eliot Spitzer used his money and time to help people instead of perusing brothel catalogs. Even looking at computer gadgets (almost done and its on to CNET!) is more ennobling than finding looking at some girl on a webcam.

I knew a guy who'd have a collection worth a million bucks now if he spent his time collecting coins instead of porn tapes.

It's one of our challenges as men.**

**I don't recall any famous lady politicians sacrificing their career for a Capitol Hill intern or launching a a thousand ships over some Trojan boy-toy. A few teachers seduce their students, but it's a rare thing. I guess women have their own things to worry about.