Asymmetric Music

"This isn't the Democratic party of our fathers and grandfathers. This is the party of Woodstock hippies. I was at Woodstock — I built the stage. And when everything fell apart, and people were fighting for peanut-butter sandwiches, it was the National Guard who came in and saved the same people who were protesting them. So when Hillary Clinton a few years ago wanted to build a Woodstock memorial, I said it should be a statue of a National Guardsman feeding a crying hippie."-John Ratzenberger.

Yesterday, I assembled some Rock and Roll songs that trumpeted conservative values. Today, I'm doing my far left* brothers and sisters a favor by compiling a list to encourage them as they seek to change America for the better:

1. Sign of the Times, Donna Fargo.

Podcast

Donna Fargo Winners by Donna Fargo

The Best of Donna Fargo: 20th Century Masters - The Millennium Collection

In this song, Donna sings of the American dream turning into a "nightmare." 1863? 1933? 1942? No, the year we'd all like to forget, 1986. Apparently, Donna had access to some detailed census data, as she concluded that Jews suffered proportionately. Unemployment was at 50%?

2. Cortez the Killer, Neil Young.

Proving that extremism begs for an opposite, "noble savagery" is an attempt by Europeans to reverse European feelings of superiority over the people whose land they colonized. The problem with those who take the noble savage route, is that, in their desire to make amends, they often lie, distort, or, like Neil Young, just say stupid stuff.

The Cortez in the song is Hernan Cortez, Spanish conquistador. Why sing about Cortez and not, say, other conquests in history like in everywhere else in the world since the beginning of humanity? Because Cortez was white and the Aztecs weren't, I guess.

If you know anything about Aztec civilization, you know how ridiculous this is:

And the women all were beautiful
And the men stood straight and strong
They offered life in sacrifice
So that others could go on.

Hate was just a legend
And war was never known
The people worked together
And they lifted many stones.

Follow up:

3. (tie) Southern Man, Neil Young; Redneck Friend, Jackson Browne.

Southern Man:

Redneck Friend:

Unless, of course, those savages are a group of primitives for whom you don't have any sympathy- like Southern Americans.

Relevant Lyrics (Redneck Friend):

Now your daddy's in the den shootin' up the evening news
Mama's with a friend, lately she's been so confused
Little one-
Come on and take my hand
I may not have the answer but I believe I got a plan

The Very Best of Jackson Browne

Greatest Hits

4. (Tie) Two Tribes, Frankie Goes to Hollywood; Lawyers in Love, Jackson Browne.

Relax

Jackson Browne, again:

It's not true, as some people say, that the left is amoral or doesn't believe in moral absolutes. It's just that they care about different things: Ask them about progressive taxation, the Iraq war, gay "marriage," or racism.

When he makes a moral equivalence between the Soviet Union(!) and America in Two Tribes, Frankie isn't saying that both countries are as good as each other so much as that America is just as bad as the Soviet Union. More hate.

Of Course, they were wrong:

Relevant lyrics (Lawyers in Love):

I can't keep up with what's been going on
I think my heart must just be slowing down
Among the human beings in their designer jeans
Am I the only one who hears the screams
And the strangled cries of lawyers in love

God sends his spaceships to America, the beautiful
They land at six o'clock and there we are, the dutiful
Eating from TV trays, tuned into to Happy Days
Waiting for World War III while Jesus slaves
To the mating calls of lawyers in love

Last night I watched the news from Washington, the capitol
The Russians escaped while we weren't watching them, like Russians will
Now we've got all this room, we've even got the moon
And I hear the U.S.S.R. will be open soon
As vacation land for lawyers in love

5. Baby, Scratch my Back, Slim Harpo

Describing Barack Obama's relationship to unions and lawyers.

The Best of Slim Harpo

6. A Change Gonna Come, Sam Cooke

Change. Unlike Barack Obama, I can guess what Sam Cooke is talking about and I'm glad Sam's change came about.

7. (tie) I'll be There, Sugar Daddy, Jackson 5.

I'll be There:

The Democrat domestic agenda.

Relevant lyrics (I'll be There):

You and I must make a pact, we must bring salvation back
Where there is love, I'll be there

I'll reach out my hand to you, I'll have faith in all you do
Just call my name and I'll be there

I'll be there to comfort you,
Build my world of dreams around you, I'm so glad that I found you
I'll be there with a love that's strong
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on

The Ultimate Collection

8. (tie) Piss Factory, Patti Smith; Pleasant Valley Sunday.

Patti Smith:

Patti Smith Complete 1975-2006: Lyrics, Reflections & Notes for the Future by Patti Smith

Monkeys:

Amongst the many ironies of left thinking is the contempt they have for the people they pretend to protect. Thus, people in their first job have "McJobs." No, it's not as nice to work at McDonald's as it is to be a rock star or a graduate student, but our food-serving and factory-working brothers and sisters have pride in their effort, as my father (and I) did.

Or, the far left hatred for dirty work. Do they think that in a left world, drudgy jobs will disappear; that we'll invent worker robots or something?

The scorn the far left has for work is nothing compared to the despisal they have for non-rock stars. Eleanor Rigby by the Beatles is the touching stone here, but I chose Pleasant Valley Sunday by the Monkeys. It's also against conformity, but it's not as good, proving that left thoughts are often banal and, yes, conformist.

Dissonance: Things shouldn't be boring and people shouldn't conform so lets standardize health care, build public housing, use public transportation, and federalize schools.

The Monkees - Greatest Hits

9. Imagine, John Lennon

Lenin, Mao, and Castro didn't just imagine, they actually put Lennon's noble vision into practice (Unfortunately, they didn't get around to erasing countries. See #4 above).

Lennon Legend: The Very Best of John Lennon

10. Modern Love, David Bowie

I don't know the point he's trying to make about "modern love" except that it's somehow different from old love (courtship leading to marriage).

Best of Bowie

Bonus Songs:

11. Material Girl, Madonna

Materialism isn't just wanting lots of stuff; it's the belief that everything in the world is physical and tangible. In other words, a materialist definition of the modern love above is that it's just a chemical reaction that humans have evolved to not abandon babies.

The Immaculate Collection

12. Another Brick in the Wall, Pink Floyd.

The Wall is a plea for non-conformity. The best way to achieve that would be vouchers or to give local districts more control. The left solution is usually a larger role for the federal government and standardized testing.

Pink Floyd - The Wall 25th Anniversary (Deluxe Edition)

13. People Make the World Go Round, Stylistics

Excessive executive pay causes pollution and buses prevent trash pick up, or something like that. It neatly sums up the extent of liberal economic understanding.

The Best of the Stylistics

Disclaimer:

*I only mean the far left, not you moderate Democrats and I'm being very general- like Neil Young and Jackson Browne and, well, just about every lefty musician.