Asymmetric Music

Songs to leave off your playlist on Valentine's day:

1. All Right Now, Free. The most unromantic song on earth. Co** rock at its most base. Summary: Veni, vidi, vici.

2. It's Getting Hot in Here, Nelly. Less strait forward than All Right Now, HIH contains the least persuasive argument for female disrobement- ever. I see the central cause-and-effect logic behind the plea, but couldn't even Paris Hilton come up with some alternative? Rendered obsolete by central air conditioning.

3. You've Got a Friend, James Taylor. I assume that Taylor is using the old "You've got a friend" technique. Time consuming and famously ineffective, YGAFT often has an opposite, repulsive effect. Worse, she may actually think you want a platonic friendship. Get ready for those crying, "He's such a a****le" phone calls at 1:00 AM.

4. Respect, Otis Redding and Aretha Franklin. Way to greet your man after a hard day at the office, Aretha. Why don't you just have him sit in a bucket of ice water? When a man nags for respect, like Otis below, it's just, well, sad.

You didn't know that Otis wrote this song, did you?

And Aretha:

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