Movie and Television Reviews

"Wow! I want to see that again," will most likely be your reaction when you watch Steven Spielberg's Transformers.

Transformers combines bar-setting special effects with a solid story line, some very funny lines, and the Spielberg je ne sais quoi to make for an outstanding action film and, along with Spiderman, one of the two most fun movies of the year.

Transformers begins with a narration on the history of the Autobot, the proper name for the race of thinking machines mistakenly referred to as Transformers. I’m still a little confused, but I think the relevant points here are that the Autobots fought a war with the evil Decepticons, that the war destroyed their home planet, Cybertron, and that right before the annihilation of Cybertron somebody managed to dispatch the Allspark, a device that enlivens machines. Afterwards, Megatron, the ruthless leader of the Decepticons, arrived on Earth to search for the Allspark, but crashed in the Antarctic instead where he remained frozen until discovered by explorer Captain Witwicky. Still frozen, Megatron imprinted a code giving the whereabouts of the Allspark onto the Captain’s glasses after the Captain fiddled with one of Megatron’s control pods.

Fast forward to the twenty-first century and we find Captain Witwicky’s grandson, wonderfully geeky Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), trying to hawk the glasses on eBay to buy a car. The rest of the Decepticons arrive on Earth in search of the spectacles. Instead of just asking the New York Times, the Decepticons find it necessary to attack an American military base in Qatar in order to access a defense database containing secret information on Captain Witwicky, Megatron, and the glasses. I suspect the reason the Decepticons choose the difficult route is to provide Michael Bay with an opportunity to film the absolute most visually impressive demonstration of modern weaponry in film. The rest of the movie is basically a race to the Allspark through the glasses, and it’s fine if a little MacGuffinish.

The subplots aren’t as strong. The love story between Sam Witwicky and the cool girl, Mikaela Banes, played by Megan (AKA Megababecon) Fox, is good. Certainly, the scenes of the stammering Sam awkwardly wooing Mikaela are very funny. Some sub-plots, however, misfire. In a classic case of immature characterization, the writers give just enough character description for the audience to begin caring for them, but as their roles in the movie aren’t very substantial, it eventually leaves the audience feeling a little foolish for expending the effort to know them in the first place.

The computer hackers feel especially unnecessary. The movie wastes a good fifteen minutes on them with only some comic relief from Glen Whitmann (Anthony Anderson) to show for it. I would trade those characters to spend a little more time with the Transformers who themselves each have a personality. We could have had one of those scenes where an alien interacts with human society like when E.T. participated in Halloween.

Other problems include some overly incredible scenes where giant robots hang around a residential neighborhood without anybody noticing, and a too-quick ending unworthy of the previous two hours.

Quibbles aside, Transformers is spectacular. Transformers, like the best Star Wars movies; Lords of the Rings; and its tonal predecessor, War of the Worlds; completely absorbs the viewer. Prepare to sit in your seat, drop your 85 ounce Diet Coke in the little holder, and be completely sucked in by Transformers’ special effects, sharp humor (I laughed more during Transformers than during alleged comedies Evan Almighty and Delta Farce), and outstanding direction (check out the 360 camera sweeps and Optimus Prime’s crash through a building with Megatron).

Spielberg factor:

Transformers has Spielberg written all over it. Others have made the observation that the Transformers’ run-in with the unnecessarily aggressive law enforcement echoes E.T., which is certainly the case. But stylistically, with people reacting to absurd situations, characters rushing about to avoid the enemy, and the aforementioned humor, Transformers is a carbon-copy of War of the Worlds and very similar to AI, Jurassic Park, and others. Defining Spielberg’s directorial style may be beyond my skill, but I’ll describe one scene and see if you understand: A little girl follows a gigantic robot to her pool and asks it if it’s the tooth fairy.

Politics/ Message:

“Freedom is the right of every sentient being” extends the Bush doctrine into Spain-type lunacy but I understand their point, what with Autobots not being human and all.

Apparently upsetting to a few people, Transformers shows the military as being useful and suggests that soldiers are of normal intelligence and non-cruel-even caring. I suppose Manohla Dargis of the New York Times thinks the Decepticons should have been fought by a legion of movie critics.

Product placement is an issue I’ve addressed before in my review of Fantastic Four, and it rears its ugly head here with all of the automobiles being from General Motors including an exciting Chevrolet Camaro, but it makes more sense in Transformers, a vehicle-based movie. In fact, not to make some easy money with product placement in Transformers would have taken an iron will that I wouldn't expect from anybody.

Non-aligned critics:

My wife and kid loved this movie. My wife and daughter felt sympathy for Bumblebee, one of the autobots.

Two Transformer beauties.

Cast and credits below:

Follow up:

Directed by
Michael Bay

Writing credits
(WGA)
Roberto Orci (screenplay) &
Alex Kurtzman (screenplay)

John Rogers (story) and
Roberto Orci (story) &
Alex Kurtzman (story)

Cast (in credits order)

Shia LaBeouf ... Sam Witwicky

Megan Fox ... Mikaela Banes

Josh Duhamel ... Sergeant Lennox

Tyrese Gibson ... USAF Tech Sergeant Epps

Rachael Taylor ... Maggie Madsen

Anthony Anderson ... Glen Whitmann

Jon Voight ... Defense Secretary John Keller

John Turturro ... Agent Simmons
Michael O'Neill ... Tom Banachek
Kevin Dunn ... Ron Witwicky
Peter Cullen ... Optimus Prime (voice)
Julie White ... Judy Witwicky

Bryan Cox ... (voice)

Amaury Nolasco ... ACWO Jorge "Fig" Figueroa

Mark Ryan ... Bumblebee (voice)

Zack Ward ... First Sergeant Donnelly
Luis Echagarrua ... Ranger Team #1

Bernie Mac ... Bobby Bolivia

Sophie Bobal ... Tooth Fairy Girl

Darius McCrary ... Autobot Jazz (voice)

Pat Mulderrig ... Ranger Team #2
Charles Adler ... Starscream (voice)

Charlie Bodin ... USAF Staff Sergent
Brian Shehan ... Ranger Team #3

Andrew Caldwell ... Cafe' kid 1
Michael Trisler ... Ranger Team #4

Reno Wilson ... Frenzy (voice)

Frederic Doss ... Navy Petty Officer

Ashkan Kashanchi ... Mahfouz

Rizwan Manji ... Akram

Chris Ellis ... Admiral Brigham

William Morgan Sheppard ... Captain Witwicky (as W. Morgan Sheppard)

C.J. Thomason ... Sailor

Carlos Moreno Jr. ... Manny
Johnny Sanchez ... Clown
John Robinson ... Miles

Travis Van Winkle ... Trent
Peter Jacobson ... Mr. Hosney

Glenn Morshower ... SOCCENT Sergeant

Joshua Feinman ... USAF Staff Sergeant
Steven Ford ... Four Star General
Michael Shamus Wiles ... Two Star General
Craig Barnett ... Air Force Major General

Brian Prescott ... Keller Aide

Scott Peat ... Pentagon Watch Commander

Colleen Porch ... Enlisted Aide

Brian Stepanek ... Sector Seven Agent #1

Jamie McBride ... Sector Seven Agent #2

Wiley M. Pickett ... Sector Seven Agent #3

Ronnie Sperling ... Lead Scientist

Sean Smith ... Scientist

Andy Milder ... R&D Team Leader
Brian Reece ... Moustache Man

Samantha Smith ... Sarah Lennox

Ravi Patel ... Telephone Operator

Rick Gomez ... Sheriff
Andy Domingues ... Deputy
Mike Fisher ... Football Coach

Colin Fickes ... Analyst #1

Tom Lenk ... Analyst #2

Jamison Yang ... Analyst #3
Esther Scott ... Glen's Grandmother

Madison Mason ... CNN Reporter
Jeremy Jojola ... News Reporter #1
Jessica Kartalija ... News Reporter #2
Andrew Altonji ... Cafe Kid #1

J.P. Manoux ... Witness

Pete Gardner ... Dad

Laurel Garner ... Mom in Car

Chip Hormess ... Boy in Car
Ray Toth ... Pilot #1
Dan Ferris ... Pilot #2

Michael Adams ... AWACS Controller #1
Ron Henry ... AWACS Controller #2
Benjamin Hoffman ... AWACS Controller #3
Michael McNabb ... AWACS Controller #4
Jason White ... AWACS Controller #5
Adam Ratajczak ... Control Tower Tech
Maya Klayn ... Socialite #1

Michelle Pierce ... Socialite #2

Odette Yustman ... Socialite #3

Bob Stephenson ... Xbox Guy
Mason the Mastiff ... Himself
Robert Foxworth ... Ratchett (voice)
Jess Harnell ... Ironhide/Barricade (voice)

Hugo Weaving ... Megatron (voice)
Jimmie Wood ... Bonecrusher (voice)