Movie and Television Reviews

I was an English major so somebody must have assigned me Beowulf at some point in my academic career. I graduated so I must have passed the test. I have to admit, however, to not remembering the details of the poem (Now that I think about it, there’s a lot I don’t recall about college.) when I first heard of the Beowulf movie and requiring some Google-time to get up to speed. I’m bringing this up because I sometimes save time describing the plot of movies based on historical events (see Elizabeth) or famous literary works by referring the reader to an encyclopedia. Unfortunately, the producers of Beowulf changed the source's plot sufficiently to make that option impossible. In short, Beowulf is kind of like the epic poem, except (spoilers below):

1. In the first scene, Hrothgar reminds one, in both physical form and partying disposition, of a Ted Kennedy-like hedonist.
2. Grendel isn’t upset by the idea of merrymaking; singing just bothers his ear.
3. Beowulf fights Grendel naked.
4. Grendel’s mother is the very unhag-like Angelina Jolie.
5. Instead of fighting Grendel's mother, Beowulf sleeps with her (make love, not war).
6. Grendel is king Hrothgar's son. The dragon is Beowulf's son.
7. No Cain/ Grendel, Bible metaphors.
8. Beowulf takes Queen Wealthow as his wife.
9. The whole concept of "the sins of the father" is new.
10. The reappearance of the witch.
11. Unferth isn't a warrior. He's a Wormtoungue/Karl Rove-like courtier.
12. Less monotheist God references.
13. During Beowulf's reign, Beowulf's kingdom converts to Christianity.

What do the changes mean? The poem's theme is all about warrior honor (humility, bravery, reciprocal hospitality). The alterations for the movie add a whole new dimension- the resistance of temptation- to Beowulf's struggle. The warrior theme is still present: the King redeems his debauchery by standing up to Grendel, Beowulf reacts violently to being called a coward, and Beowulf pridefully challenges an opposing warrior after a battle, but it's no longer the central focus. Temptation still being an elemental, archetypal human dilemna, its inclusion doesn't seem like an anachronism and I predict only Beowulf purists will object (I don't know how many exist, but most of the audience probably thought "Beowulf" was a heavy metal band).

Although Zemeckis thankfully doesn't make Beowulf into a pseudo-profound anti-war movie by mocking warriorship outright, it's clear that he doesn't take it completely seriously either. Perhaps because 300 dramatized a real event and Beowulf is obviously fantastic, the movie makes light of the poem's more outrageous action. When Beowulf recounts his swimming adventure (the ending of which foreshadows his weakness for women), Beowulf evokes more whimsy than dread. Which brings me to the lowlight of the movie:

For no reason, Beowulf fights Grendel in the nude. Sparing the strait male and squeamish female audience members from the consequences of Beowulf's, non-dress, the directors strategically place curtains, chairs, and other furniture in front of his heroic naughty bits. The result is distracting and more unfunny than the Austin Powers movie that inspired it.

Like 300 and Lord of the Rings, Beowulf is visually fresh and innovative-even groundbreaking. The buzz-creating animation reminds me of cut scenes from the best X-Box games. The characters' appearance and motions vary from film-like realism (Angelina must have worked out for the part. You'd hardly know she just gave birth.) to very good claymation.

I saw the movie in 3-D and, after being a little disoriented initially, quickly became accustomed to the the feel. The downside of 3-D movies is the gimmicky, knives-flying-at-the-audience effects, but it's not as bad as Captain EO.

The truly impressive visuals come not from the technology, but the direction. When Zemeckis, for example, shows only Wiglaf's boots approach the head of the fallen Beowulf, he magnifies the sense of loss. The fight scenes are generally great.

Angelina Jolie uses her Transylvania accent. It's not as bad as the one from A Mighty Heart. The other "acting" is fine.

I never felt the movie drag. I doubt anybody eager to see such a movie will be disappointed.

Politics:

Without insulting my Scandinavian brothers and sisters too much, anybody aware of the current state of warrior culture in northern Europe, but not up on Dark-Age European history, will be surprised to know that, at one time, the makers of IKEA, Volvo, and tasty breakfast pastries were the people-conquering, combat-worshiping scourge of Europe (thanks, Denmark for your stance against Islamo-intimidation over Mohamed cartoons and help in the War on Terror in general).

Christianity is mentioned, but I didn't detect any point. Female characters act like most females would in the middle ages: gossiping, standing by husbands, catting around mead halls. The damsels require rescuing.

Ladies:

and Gentlemen:

Remember Asymmetric is PG-13

Cast and credits:

Follow up:

Directed by
Robert Zemeckis

Writing credits
(WGA)
Neil Gaiman (screenplay) &
Roger Avary (screenplay)

Anonymous (epic poem "Beowulf")

Cast (in credits order)

Robin Wright Penn ... Wealthow

Anthony Hopkins ... Hrothgar
John Bilezikjian ... Musician #2
Brice Martin ... Musician #4 (as Brice H. Martin)
Sonje Fortag ... Gitte
Sharisse Baker-Bernard ... Hild

Charlotte Salt ... Estrith

Julene Renee ... Cille

Greg Ellis ... Garmund

Rik Young ... Eofor

Sebastian Roché ... Wulfgar
Leslie Harter Zemeckis ... Yrsa (as Leslie Zemeckis)

John Malkovich ... Unferth

Woody Schultz ... Aesher

Tyler Steelman ... Young Cain

Nick Jameson ... Drunken Thane

Crispin Glover ... Grendel (as Crispin Hellion Glover)

Ray Winstone ... Drunken Thane

Brendan Gleeson ... Wiglaf

Shay Duffin ... Scylding's Watch

Costas Mandylor ... Hondshew

Chris Coppola ... Olaf

Angelina Jolie ... Grendel's Mother

Dominic Keating ... Cain
Jacquie Barnbrook ... Aethelbeorg
Fredrik Hiller ... Frisian Leader

Alison Lohman ... Ursula
Daniel D. McGrew ... Beowulf’s Scop
Alan Jones Silva ... Beowulf's Jester (as Alan J. Silva)
rest of cast listed alphabetically:

Richard Burns ... Additional Adult Performer

Larkin Campbell ... Additional Adult Performer
Chris Cummins ... Additional Adult Performer
Peter Dennis ... Voice Performer

Neil Dickson ... Voice Performer
Holly Dorff ... Voice Performer
Kevin Dorman ... Additional Adult Performer

Shawn Driscoll ... Additional Adult Performer

Amy Esacove ... Additional Adult Performer

Emily Johnson ... Additional Adult Performer

Camille Lannan ... Additional Adult Performer

Peter Lavin ... Voice Performer
John Littlefield ... Additional Adult Performer

Chris Mala ... Additional Adult Performer
Rob McCabe ... Additional Adult Performer

Nadine Stenovitch ... Additional Adult Performer
Fred Tatasciore ... Voice Performer

Tim Trobec ... Additional Adult Performer
Matthew A. Ward ... Voice Performer
Anne Marie Wilson ... Additional Adult Performer

Produced by
Roger Avary .... executive producer
Steve Bing .... producer
Steven J. Boyd .... co-producer
Neil Gaiman .... executive producer
Buzz Hays .... stereoscopic 3D producer
Josh McLaglen .... associate producer
Jack Rapke .... producer
Roger Roberts .... executive producer
Martin Shafer .... executive producer
Steve Starkey .... producer
Peter M. Tobyansen .... line producer
Robert Zemeckis .... producer