Movie and Television Reviews

Best Movies of 2007

OK. I've seen about 1.5 movies per week (That means I've seen about 6 a month, not that I've walked out of half of them.) The criteria for choosing the best movies are that 1. I saw them and 2. I will see them again. Here's my list for the year:

1. Stardust

Good, but also one of those quality, feel-good, non-blockbusters that your friends appreciate as a recommendation. Good fantasy is more rare than comic-book movies, action, or drama.

2. Superbad

Hilarious, gross, and moral. Moral? "Superego versus Id" deluxe.

3. Three Hundred (300)

Straightforward action. The most novel visualization of combat since Lord of the Rings. More Six packs than a Circle K.

4. Spiderman 3.

Not only the best comic-book movie this year. Perhaps the greatest one ever. Complex story. Long, but not boring.

5. Elizabeth- Golden Age.

The best adult movie this year that you don't have to pay for by the minute.

6. Night at the Museum

A funny movie with Robin Williams? No way. Way!

7. Transformers

Mock me if you will. I've seen it three times and enjoy it more with each viewing. A better "Puff the Magic Dragon"/C-130 moment than Green Berets. (video here and below)

8. I am Legend

Better than either the book or Omega Man.

Richard Matheson's I Am Legend (Richard Matheson: Collected Stories) by Elman Brown

The Omega Man

9. Ladron que Roba Ladron.

See how intellectual I am? I can watch movies in another language.

10. Awake!

A nice little thriller. Barely beat out American Gangster.

Honorable Mention:

Shrek 3- The best movie money can buy; but, without inspiration.

Ratatouille- I didn't see it, but I'm sure it would have made the list.

I also didn't see the reputedly excellent Michael Clayton and Juno.

The Worst Movies of 2007

1. Redacted

A rare combination of poor quality and odious message. The only movie this year that might kill people.

2. Alien versus Predator: Requiem

The "cliff notes" version of How not to Make a Movie. A requiem for the career of everybody associated with this turkey.

3. Rush Hour 3

The worst buddy film since the footage of O.J. Simpson and A.C. Cowlings escaping in a Bronco (People with initials in their names tend to hang out together).

4. D-Wars

A Hyundai Excel-quality Korean dragon movie that makes no sense. Look out for Dragon versus Alien versus Predator.

5. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End

More boring than waiting in line for the ride with Disney's cryogenically frozen head.

6. National Treasure: Book of Secrets

I'll let you in on something if you promise not to tell. Somewhere, there's a book with the most awful movie scripts of all time. Every once in a while, intrepid producers steal one and turn it into a major motion picture.

Is there an actor with a more uneven record than Nicolas Cage?

7. Golden Compass

Finally, a movie for the 48 atheist children in America.

8. Delta Farce

Garrison's Keillor's view of southerners vindicated. Makes you want to start reconstruction over again.

9. Fantastic Four: The Silver Surfer's Rise

The bronze standard of superhero movies.

10. Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium (Mr. Somebody's something Whateverium)

Half of the movie chronicles the dying of somebody annoying. It's not good to think "die already" during a children's movie.