Movie and Television Reviews

(Dungeon Siege Trailer)

In the middle of In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale, I did something uncharacteristically bold. I opened up my pouch, placed my dice inside, and, basking in the movie's goodness, forgot all about gaming accuracy** (It was futile, even with the mass effect rules, to keep up with the intense action anyways.). Such is the power of NOK.

The adventure begins when animal-warrior Krug (100HP), led by the evil Gallian (Summoner-Fighter Grand High Sorcerer STR: 14 Dex: 13, INT: 24) attack Farmer (Berzerker-Knight STR:18, DEX: 24, INT: 13, Alacrity, Whirling Strike, Boomerang), a content, responsible, errr, farmer raised, in true Hillariesque fashion, by the village. After they kill his son and take his wife, Farmer takes two NPCs, Norick (Defender-Champion STR:17, DEX: 13, INT: 12, Fortitude, Lightning Strike) and Bastian (Fighter-Warrior STR:14, DEX:15, INT:12, short sword), to search for his loved ones.

As you can probably guess: with such an unbalanced party,*** the expedition fails and the Krug capture our heroic trio. Farmer manages to escape, however, and leads the resistance to Gallian and his infernal allies. The group that Farmer assembles for the final assault has both a Dryad and a magic user. I won't give away the ending, but what enemy can deal with such foresight?

Pretty standard fantasy stuff, but NOK is far better than Eragon, and Dungeons and Dragons not to mention the tedious, hack and slash computer game upon which it's based. Don't send your pet to kill me in my sleep or anything, but it's almost as fun as Lord of the Rings How so?

1. The fighting is excellent. The best since 300. The ninja-type, Hidden Tiger, Flying Dragon characters are amazing.
2. The Dryads are foxy boxers extraordinaire.

I don't know which forest they inhabit, but I didn't see any in Missouri.

3. NOK has the all-time best boomerang scene.
4. The dialog is especially clever: "I didn't come suddenly from nowhere- I came suddenly from somewhere." "We're not paying for our sins- We're paying for our virtues." "Gauge evil from its shell." and whatever King Konreid (Fighter-STR:14, DEX: 15, INT: 12, Fierce Renewal) says to Farmer about courage- good stuff, all of it.
5. The story propelling subplots are interesting, with the cowardly, treasonous nephew, Duke Fallow (Fighter STR:12, DEX:15, INT:10 Squire), truly odious and the repressed daughter, Muriella (Fighter-Mage Paladin STR:12, DEX:18, INT:16) un-obnoxious.

On the other hand, I'd put the rally speech below both LOTR and Braveheart, but above Last Legion.

Politics/Message:

More John McCain than Dennis Kucinich. A tilt towards nature over nurture, as the plot will make apparent. More pro-family than a mafia Bar-B-Que: Honor, bravery, responsibility, independence and everything else that gives conservatives warm and fuzzy feelings. Which is why many film reviewers and critics hated the TOKs. Either that or they play Tunnels and Trolls.

**The movie is accurate as far as I could tell except for one glaring error. Even with generous bonuses, the only way Farmer could have taken on so many Krug is if he had wielded a two handed sword which he clearly did not. O.K. Even if my eyes deceived me and he did have a two-handed sword, does Farmer have the strength necessary to wield it one-handed? Pshaw!

***No magic user? Even a newbie knows to bring a Flame Mage at least.

The Lord of the Rings - The Motion Picture Trilogy (Platinum Series Special Extended Edition)

Eragon (Widescreen Edition)

Dungeons and Dragons- Wrath of the Dragon God (Widescreen Edition)

Dungeons & Dragons (New Line Platinum Series)

Dungeon Siege II: Deluxe Edition

The Last Legion

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