Movie and Television Reviews

"Some people want to fill the world with [manipulative, melodramatic, derivative, exploitive, lowest-common-denominator hackery]. And, what’s wrong with that? I’d like to know."

-Paul McCartney

Before I start, I’d like to say that, if possible, you should see this movie in a predominantly Hispanic theater. The premieres of 2012 in Huntington Park (with subtitles) and Pico Rivera were a combination of Mardi Gras, the Academy Awards, and an Olympics opening ceremony: Long lines, unlicensed street vendors, and people milling about who may not have had tickets, but still wanted to be where the action is. Inside the theater itself: newborns (PG-13 my pompis), great grandparents- everybody.

"Hard to imagine? It's easy if you try."

-John Lennon

If you’re a middle-aged White guy, imagine your reaction upon the announcement of a new rooftop Beatles concert where the two surviving members will join a resurrected John and George. OK? Well, double that. That’s what 2012 means to us (interestingly, a person who denies the end of world in HP thinks himself a Christopher Hitchens-like skeptic/intellectual). My wife said she hadn’t felt that way about a movie since Titanic.

Plot, in one sentence:

Scientists discover that the earth’s core will cause a world-wide cataclysm and inform the authorities, who then prepare a way for some humanity to survive and sell tickets to participate in the plan, which one family can’t afford, leading the family to find an alternative. Do they? No spoilers here.

Derivative:

2012 is a pastiche of numerous pseudo-scientific/mystical disaster movies, most of which also happen to have been directed by Roland Emmerich: There are ignored warnings, plans (Deep Impact), races against time, and a stapled-on love story.

Caharacter-wise, we have the divorced father-loser who still loves his kids’ mother from War of the Worlds; the scientist with the correct theory who’s not taken seriously by his colleagues from Independence Day, Stargate as well as the crazy, but correct conspiracy theorist from ID; the cute kid with a soon-to-be-resolved life-impediment; the corrupt politician; the president’s daughter; the good president from Independence Day; various personages from Armageddon, Jurassic Park, Poseidon Adventure; Day After Tomorrow, and Knowing. Truly, the gang’s all here.

Hackery:

About fourteen times in the movie, the characters barely escape ahead of some shock wave, debris shower, or ground collapse. They almost hit a bunch of stuff. After a while, you feel like you're on one of those Back to the Future/Star Tours rides where you're strapped to a seat inside a shaking box and watch a video of meteors or dinosaurs coming at and missing you.

Absurdities abound: Why does the head scientist of a secret location have to meet the trespassers? Isn't that what security's for?

For some, a youtube highlighting the impressive, I guess, destruction scenes will do.

Melodramatic/ manipulative:

The family scenes barely register above "trite" on the authenticity meter. We're led to care about a puppy. The world's ending and Emmerich expects the audience to shed a tear for a useless dog (sorry, owners of yapping rat-dogs [not that you ever care about your neighbors' sleep]).

Exploitative:

I think Emmerich should next do a movie about a deadly swine flu epidemic.

Yet:

My attention never wavered and I found myself cheering the protagonists' escapes and break-ins. Something subtle was going on here: My mind said “stop,” but my bootie squirmed as every type of land, sea, and air vehicle narrowly escaped doom.

2012 is a cheesy movie that thrills. Roland Emmerich is the opposite of M. Night Shyamalan: Emmerich is a low to middlebrow genius while Shymalan is a hoity bore.

Lastly:

I like that humanity will restart where it began. Like a homo sapien reboot. Guys, this time keep the apples away from the women.

I'd love to see is a television series that extends the ending.

Politics/message:

Hmmm. The movie's as deep as the earth's post-shift crust, but such a scenario can't help but deal with some big issues.

We know that people will turn to God at the end of the world. He doesn't show up in the movie, however, and nobody has a faith crisis. Religion's mostly just a way to deal with horrible events: "Smoke 'em if you got 'em"

(Maybe it's for the best: Remember Contact?)

"If we are only for ourselves, what are we?"

The moral crisis that Emmerich does deal with is a fairness lesson appropriate for a 4th-grade journal topic (a leading one at that): "Should only rich people survive the end of the world?" Proving that Star Trek changed the world, it's claimed that any non-inclusive decision will sacrifice the group's "humanity."

I did find it semi-clever when they asked whether their first action should be a loving or practical one.

Thankfully, no eco-preaching.

Cast and crew below:

Follow up:

Directed by
Roland Emmerich

Writing credits
(WGA)
Roland Emmerich (written by) &
Harald Kloser (written by)

Cast (in credits order)

John Cusack ... Jackson Curtis

Amanda Peet ... Kate Curtis

Chiwetel Ejiofor ... Adrian Helmsley

Thandie Newton ... Laura Wilson

Oliver Platt ... Carl Anheuser
Thomas McCarthy ... Gordon Silberman (as Tom McCarthy)

Woody Harrelson ... Charlie Frost

Danny Glover ... President Thomas Wilson

Liam James ... Noah Curtis

Morgan Lily ... Lilly Curtis

Zlatko Buric ... Yuri Karpov

Beatrice Rosen ... Tamara

Alexandre Haussmann ... Alec

Philippe Haussmann ... Oleg

Johann Urb ... Sasha

John Billingsley ... Professor West

Chin Han ... Tenzin

Osric Chau ... Nima

Chang Tseng ... Grandfather Sonam
Lisa Lu ... Grandmother Sonam
Blu Mankuma ... Harry Helmsley

George Segal ... Tony Delgatto

Stephen McHattie ... Captain Michaels

Patrick Bauchau ... Roland Picard

Jimi Mistry ... Dr. Satnam Tsurutani
Ryan McDonald ... Scotty
Merrilyn Gann ... German Chancellor
Henry O ... Lama Rinpoche

Patrick Gilmore ... Ark Communications Officer
Dean Marshall ... Ark Communications Officer

Ron Selmour ... Ark Boarding Officer

Viv Leacock ... Ark Boarding Officer
Chris Boyd ... Ark Boarding Officer
Donna Yamamoto ... AF1 Science Officer

Doron Bell ... AF1 Science Officer (as Doron Bell Jr.)
David Orth ... AF1 Lieutenant
Lyndall Grant ... Governor

Jason Diablo ... Ark Tech Officer

Ty Olsson ... AF1 Officer
Zinaid Memisevic ... President Sergey Makarenko
Vincent Cheng ... Chinese Colonel
Igor Morozov ... Russian Interpreter
B.J. Harrison ... Woman Comforting Child (as BJ Harrison)

Dominic Zamprogna ... Paramedic

Karin Konoval ... Sally - President's Secretary
Mary Gillis ... Jackson's Neighbor

Rick Tae ... Megaphone Officer

Parm Soor ... Saudi Prince

Gerard Plunkett ... Isaacs - MI6 Officer
Paul Tryl ... Zultan
Andrei Kovski ... Zultan's Trainer
Val Cole ... News Reporter - Tikal

Eve Harlow ... Cashier

Sean Tyson ... Interrogating Officer
Leonard Tenisci ... Italian Prime Minister
Michael Buffer ... Boxing Announcer

Daren A. Herbert ... Ship Waiter
Craig Stanghetta ... Vegas Rescue Worker
Mateen Devji ... Ajit - age 5

Qayam Devji ... Ajit - age 9

Jody Thompson ... CNN Anchor
Tanya Champoux ... Mrs. Birnbaum

Frank C. Turner ... Preacher

Kinua McWatt ... Yoko Delgatto
Laara Sadiq ... British Newscaster

Gillian Barber ... Cruise Ship Lady
Candus Churchill ... Cruise Ship Lady
Beverley Elliott ... Cruise Ship Lady

Agam Darshi ... Aparna

Raj Lal ... Gurdeep
Pesi Daruwalla ... Dr. Lokesh

Jacob Blair ... AF1 Steward
Jay Williams ... AF1 Steward
Scott E. Miller ... Arc Naval Officer (as Scott Miller)

Anna Mae Routledge ... Officer Tay

John Stewart ... Pilot

Ryan Cook ... Surfer

Brandon Haas ... Surfer

Eddie Hassell ... Surfer
Betty Phillips ... Elderly Driver
Georgina Hegedos ... Elderly Driver

Luis Javier ... Vegas Tow Truck Driver

Dean Redman ... Vegas Fireman

Gordon Lai ... Security Commander
Mark Docherty ... Field Reporter - Tikal

Mark Oliver ... Fundraiser Security
Andrew Moxham ... Policeman

Alexandra Castillo ... Paris Reporter
Farouk A. Afify ... Saudi Senior Security
Shaun Wilson ... US Army Worker

Leo Li Chiang ... Chinese Soldier (as Leo Chiang)
Elizabeth Richard ... Queen Elizabeth
Kyle Riefsnyder ... Cho Ming Platform Officer
John Mee ... Angry Billionaire
George Trochta ... American Ark Steward

Geoff Gustafson ... Ark Bridge Crew

Alex Zahara ... Mr. Anton

Jason Griffith ... Ark Bridge Crew (as Jase Anthony Griffith)

Jill Morrison ... Ark Bridge Crew
Thomas Parkinson ... Ark Bridge Crew
Leona Naidoo ... Ark Bridge Crew
Quentin Guyon ... Ark Bridge Crew
Nicole Rudell ... Ark Bridge Crew

Chad Riley ... Ark Bridge Crew
Simon Leung ... Ark Bridge Crew
Kevin Haaland ... Ark Bridge Crew
Leigh Burrows ... US Army Worker
rest of cast listed alphabetically:

Tj Austin ... Survivor (credit only)
Eddie L. Fauria ... Sgt. Lourke
Ayana Haviv ... Singer (voice)

Marco Khan ... Preacher
William Myers ... DoomSayer

Michael Karl Richards ... Wil Delgado

David Richmond-Peck ... Political Aide

Joshua Salvati
Jerome Young ... Tony

Peter Arpesella ... Italian Prime Minister (voice) (uncredited)
Sahar Biniaz ... Showgirl (uncredited)
Anthony Bonaventura ... Riot Motorist (uncredited)
Lea Deesing ... Doomsdayer (uncredited)

Norman Deesing ... Doomsdayer (uncredited)
Abigail Delves ... Little Girl (uncredited)

Paula Elle ... Woman (uncredited)

Gladis Giada ... New Age Hippie (uncredited)

Jacob Goodall ... Doomsday Man (uncredited)
Ric Govea ... City survivor (uncredited)

Ashley Hand ... Deck 44 passenger (uncredited)

Erik Kowalski ... Protestor (uncredited)
Jonathan Lane ... Guy in street (uncredited)
Tom MacNeill ... Deck 44 passenger (uncredited)

Robert Malina ... CNN Reporter (uncredited)

Jessica Provencher ... Doomsdayer (uncredited)

Larry Purtell ... Protestor (uncredited)
Charlie Robson ... Air Force One Tech (uncredited)

Richard Schimmelpfenneg ... Protester (uncredited)
Eric Shackelford ... Crazy protester (uncredited)
Patricia Shih ... Violinist (uncredited)

Robyn Jean Springer ... Doomsdayer (uncredited)
Dale Tarrant ... Motorcycle cop (uncredited)
Ian Thompson ... Motorcycle Cop (uncredited)
Yuel Yawney ... Violinist (uncredited)
Create a character page for: ?

Produced by
Aaron Boyd .... co-producer
Roland Emmerich .... producer
Ute Emmerich .... executive producer
Volker Engel .... co-producer
Larry J. Franco .... producer
Mark Gordon .... executive producer
Harald Kloser .... producer
Marc Weigert .... co-producer
Michael Wimer .... executive producer
Kirstin Winkler .... associate producer

Original Music by
Harald Kloser
Thomas Wanker (as Thomas Wander)

Cinematography by
Dean Semler (director of photography)

Film Editing by
David Brenner
Peter S. Elliot

Tags: mexican, mexican-american