Movie and Television Reviews

Iron Man was a very good comic book movie. It wasn't, however, because of Terrence Howard; he was a bad sidekick for Robert Downey. How bad? I noticed, that's how bad. I actually said to myself, "Man, Terrence is not a very good sidekick."

So, they're going with an actor with a real personality, Don Cheadle. It was a smart move.

As for Howard refusing to tell us what's going to happen in Iron Man II: Wow, huge loss, Terrence. Let me see if I can guess even without your help: Errr, a bad super hero wants to do something bad and Iron Man tries to stop him. Iron Man wins. The bad guy might or might not get away.

Iron Man (Two-Disc Special Collectors' Edition)

Terrence Howard looks pretty suave here.

I really really want to know what they think.

There are three reasons why it's likely that more people watched the Oscars before it was televised than they did last year, and one of them isn't because it's too long. If length were important (don't listen to the spam emails), people would just watch the last hour or so.

One of the causes for the Academy Awards' growing unpopularity is that the Oscars intentionally or inadvertently insult the majority of Americans. First and foremost is the politics,** which happens to be of the "gun and religion clinging," type, that obnoxious mix of liberalism and elitism that only elite liberals can stomach for any period of time. Movie people also tend to be very rich and attractive. Americans don't enjoy being called stupid and made to feel ugly by pretty actors, many of whom couldn't make a living with either their hands or brains. That the actors depend on the stupid and ugly to spend a day's labor on movie tickets and popcorn only makes it worse. Anyways, that's half the country. This number was smaller before the ratings plunge, when actors weren't as obviously contemptuous of their audience.

Next is the nature of the program. Who gives the award? People in the industry. Whom do the actors thank when they receive the award? They thank the Academy, their agent, maybe their parents or spouse (the kiss of death. Divorce usually follows). Sometimes it seems that the Academy only picks movies that their friends watch. It's the exact opposite of American Idol where Fox gears everything towards the audience.

So, just like Americans enjoy indoor plumbing, but don't like watching the "Bowlies" to see the best supporting drain installation (unless they like to watch the butt-cleavage as they stroll the "red linoleum"); Americans actually like watching movies instead of the people who make them giggle with fawning entertainment reporters, make canned jokes, and proclaim their moral superiority.

That's another 20% of the population.

Finally, at least the Grammys have music performances to entertain. With the Oscars, we get film clips that we can watch on Youtube and a song that nobody likes.

10% more.

So, I'm boycotting again this year, as I have since Methuselah received the lifetime achievement award.

And, what would happen if we all did? Would one less movie get made? Would the Renaissance Hotel lose business? No, the only difference is that they'd put the show on the E channel where the people who need People will still set aside their evenings and "oh my God" for three straight hours. We'd, on the other hand, get the satisfaction of having destroyed an ultimately destructive institution.

**If you're liberal, imagine watching the National Review awards or the Southern Baptist "Preachies."

It looks like it's going to be Ryan Gosling- from Canada!

More jobs shipping overland

1. "Tropic Thunder," $26 million.
2. The Dark Knight," $16.8 million.
3. "Star Wars: The Clone Wars," $15.5 million.
4. "Mirrors," $11.1 million.
5. "Pineapple Express," $10 million.
6. "The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor," $8.6 million.
7. "Mamma Mia!" $6.5 million.
8. "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2," $5.9 million.
9. "Step Brothers," $5 million.
10. "Vicky Cristina Barcelona," $3.7 million.

I think that the results are an accurate estimation of their cinematic worth.

If Harrison Ford can be Indiana Jones, John McCain can be president.

1 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) $126M $151M
2 The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (2008) $28.6M $96.7M
3 Iron Man (2008) $25.6M $258M
4 What Happens in Vegas... (2008) $11.2M $56.4M
5 Speed Racer (2008) $5.21M $37.4M
6 Baby Mama (2008) $4.21M $53M
7 Made of Honor (2008) $4.2M $39.9M
8 Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) $2.2M $58.7M
9 Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) $1.2M $36.2M
10 The Visitor (2007/I) $917K $4.57M

I'm a little disappointed that Narnia dropped off so much, but it still did OK. It looks like we're getting more superhero- comic book movies. Yeah?

1 Iron Man (2008) $101M $104M
2 Made of Honor (2008) $15.5M $15.5M
3 Baby Mama (2008) $10.3M $32.3M
4 Forgetting Sarah Marshall (2008) $6.13M $44.8M
5 Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay (2008) $6.01M $25.3M
6 The Forbidden Kingdom (2008) $4.2M $45.1M
7 Nim's Island (2008) $2.75M $42.5M
8 Prom Night (2008) $2.5M $41.4M
9 21 (2008) $2.1M $79.1M
10 88 Minutes (2007) $1.6M $15.4M